Surrendering Into Authenticity with Rocky Heron

Surrendering Into Authenticity with Rocky Heron

 Rocky is an internationally renowned yoga and movement educator, performer, human design mentor and content creator. He is devoted to unlocking the codes to our most authentic self-expression and empowering his students and community to recognize and surrender into their unique brilliance. As an artist and creator, Rocky exists at the intersection of spirituality, eroticism, pleasure, and personal transformation. He is a creature of intimacy and spirit and designed to inspire you to become your own personal authority.

In this juicy interview we talk about surrendering into authenticity and about the factors that help make that possible. Rocky next speaks about what it means to him to be a self-described Holistic Hedonist

 Then, we explore what the journey was like for him to integrate various parts of himself that may have been labeled under the hedonism umbrella- like his Onlyfans, and his porn work. In this exploration we acknowledge that he can be spiritual and a yogi while also engaging in spaces that some may consider ‘hedonistic.’

We also discuss my concerns around perceived energetic risks of casual sex and find ways to address that more honestly. 

Rocky ends explaining what Human Design is and how it can be helpful on the path of self-discovery. And we close talking about my human design and specifically the role folks with 6 in their profile are playing at this time. 

Connect with Rocky here- https://www.instagram.com/rockyheron/?hl=en

 Connect with Wil here- https://www.wil-fullyliving.com/contact

Transcript

Wil Fisher  0:02  
Queerly beloveds. We are gathered here today for some juicy conversations about all things spiritually, queer and queerly spiritual. I'm Sylvia. Will gather rainbow, a spiritual life coach, retreat host with the most and a drag queen, and I'll be chatting with the most amazing folks, or simply sharings of wisdom on my own. If you like what I'm serving, please remember to subscribe so we can keep hanging out. All right, let's get super woo together in this spiritual AF, queer AF, cosmic container. And blast off. Hello, beloveds, and welcome back to another episode of queerly beloved in this one, I speak with Rocky Herron, who is an internationally renowned yoga and movement educator, performer, human design, mentor and content creator, He's devoted to unlocking the codes to our most authentic self expression and empowering his students and community to recognize and surrender into their unique brilliance as an artist and creator, rocky exists at the intersection of spirituality, eroticism, pleasure and personal transformation. He's a creature of intimacy and spirit and designed to inspire you to become your own personal authority. This podcast interview was actually recorded right after the summer solstice, but then I went on this whole pain and anger journey, and that kind of jumped the queue, but this was such an amazing conversation, I'm so excited to share it with you all. We cover so much, and there's just a lot of juiciness in here. So we start by talking about the possibility of surrendering into our authenticity, and what factors help make that possible. Next rocky describes what it means to him to be a self identified, holistic hedonist, and we explore what the journey was like for him to integrate various parts of himself that may have been labeled under that hedonism umbrella, like his only fans and his porn work. We then discuss my concerns around the perceived energetic risks of casual sex and come to a really helpful conclusion around that rocky then starts talking about human design and how it can be so helpful in one's self discovery journey. And we talk a little bit about my human design. We talk specifically about what it's like having a six in our profile, something we both share all these topics and many, many more. I'm so excited for you to get into this interview. Enjoy. All right. Welcome Rocky. Hearn, it's so great to have you on greatly beloved. How are you today?

Rocky  2:34  
I'm doing well. It's great to be here. Thank you for the invite. Thank you for asking me to

show up and to connect. Yeah, my

Wil Fisher  2:44  
pleasure, yeah. And as I was praying to set us up for this call, I was acknowledging that this is an auspicious time for us to connect. We had the summer solstice last night yesterday, and now today is a full moon, so the energies are alive, and it's a fun time to speak about spirituality and about all things Woo and all the other juicy topics we're going to get into. So I'm happy that we're doing it on this day.

Rocky  3:15  
Let's get juicy and woo, yes. So

Wil Fisher  3:18  
my first question is to tap into how you are in this moment on this day, with the solstice and the full moon happening, and whatever state of being you're experiencing, and answer this question. Who are you? But tell me by describing the perfect drag avatar that embodies that. And it could be like a drag queen, or it could be like an animal or an element or any, any avatar that comes to mind. And if you'd like, I can go first, so no pressure. Uh,

Rocky  3:52  
sure. Why don't you go first? Okay, cool.

Wil Fisher  3:55  
So, yeah, just breathing into this moment. I'm actually interviewing you outside, which I don't think I've ever done an outdoor interview, but it feels appropriate with this summer happening and the beautiful blue sky, and I'm also house sitting for my sister, who lives next door. She's got a hot tub, and my shoulder's been bothering me, so I've been really enjoying the hot tub and kind of going between, like, being naked in the hot tub and coming to my laptop and wearing, like, right now I'm just in like a caftan, like, you know, saying as naked as possible, so I can keep going back and forth and and so, yeah, I feel like, Who is she? She's like, there's something kind of luxurious. And, you know, pleasure, pleasure forward about her. She's got kind of like long blonde hair and and she's often naked as well, but likes to throw on something flowy and sparkly, colorful, but still. Little earthy. So it's like sequins in, like neutral tones and and perhaps some elements of nature. So perhaps there's like braids of shells in her hair. Yeah, that's, that's who I'm vibing with right now.

Rocky  5:18  
She's a sparkly siren.

Wil Fisher  5:20  
Yes, that's it a sparkly siren. Yes, cool. Well,

Rocky  5:26  
I

I feel like, I mean you, you referenced like, a lot of keywords, keynotes that like, I feel like, describe me well, like naked and nature is my, my happy place. I think probably is true for everybody, if we really tune back into what we are. So I definitely, I mean, I think if you were, like, take my apartment, take kind of my general esthetic, and, like, condense it into a look, or even just if you could see me in my apartment, most times I'm also, like, usually fully naked, like, wrapped up in a wrapped up in some months there, just like, like, you know, I love, kind of exploring the juxtaposition between, like, my masculine form and my very fluid feminine spirit. So I see, I see, like, lots of like, the sparkles that I see are more like Stardust, like just eruption of the cosmos, this cosmic unfolding. So the blend of, like galactic kind of expansiveness, I guess it's sort of embodied here, but then also, like earthy elements and plans I'm really especially on today, and the energies that are active today, which is very much about flow and authenticity and being kind of the most, the most individualized, like specifies, specific, I guess, correct version of yourself. And when I look at my plans, that's what my plans are like every plant is the Perfected archetype of a personality, of a consciousness. And plants are in the Now, open to the flow. Do you want to water me today, like I'm open? Do you want to touch me? Do you want to hang out with me? But they're in the flow, being themselves in the now. So that's, that's what I feel, earth, element, intergalactic, naked Stardust and dripping with Ivy implants and yes, things of

Wil Fisher  7:30  
that sort. Yes, I think those dragged avatars would look really good together. Actually, they could put on, put on a little, a little presentation, for sure, little

Rocky  7:39  
invitation, our next meeting, our next interview, will have to come with Lux, yeah, perfect.

Wil Fisher  7:46  
Yeah. I love that, and I love what you're sharing about plants embodying their uniqueness, their their authentic expression, so effortlessly, you know, and all of nature gets to model that for us in this beautiful way that there is no effort, but they it just, is this being? Is just what they do, what they what they are. And it seems like it's such a conundrum for humans to to emulate that, to do that as well. And you know what bold me to what called me to reach out to you was a post that you did on the gay jungle. Jungle gayborhood, yeah, jungle Gabriel, this special place in Costa Rica, which maybe you can share more about that place. I know you offered something there, but you were speaking about wholeness. And what I really appreciated about it was that you were speaking about the importance also of the unique expression of each part of the whole, which I really love, because I do think that sometimes we can get confused and think in this way that wholeness means that we are all the same, that in wholeness we I am You, You are me. And there's truth to that, but there's also truth to each of us holding our unique individual flavor, or our unique consciousness that then makes up the whole and that's that's what really resonated for me. So if there's anything in that, but I just share that you feel moved to share more about them. Be Awesome.

Rocky  9:24  
I think you, you articulated it quite beautifully. It's like, for whatever reason, what the image is coming to mind is like the Earth and the Sun. You know, if the sun was trying to be the earth and the earth was trying to be the sun like, they're completely different, but they, you know, they, they orbit one another, at least. You know, the Earth orbits the sun, but it's, it's, it's that relationship that allows for there to be synergy. And I think same is true for all of us. Like I'm a student of human design, and understanding human design, which is the science of differentiation as. Really helped me to understand the unique codes that I that I embody, and when I walk into a room like something just came into the room that wasn't there before, and that's what I'm responsible for. I mean, that's these are the frequencies that I'm working with and learning from and experiencing and witnessing, in a sense, everywhere that I go, because it's me, it's my own aura. I think, because we are all empathic by nature in one way or another, we yet we walk into into rooms, into spaces, carrying these frequencies, but we also take in and then we are conditioned by the frequencies around us, by the planets, by each other, by the environments we're in. And you know that conditioning is what leads to these notions that we're supposed to be everything like wholeness means that I have every single thing that I need within me and and anything that kind of feels like it's missing, I need to either get that from the outside world and hold on to it, or develop stories that would suggest that I'm not enough, and I do believe that we have everything that we need, but that doesn't mean that we have everything all the time, and that's why we're, you know, that's, that's the paradox of like, yes, we are all connected. We are all one, and we are also all individual, and we are also all alone, there's an illusion of separateness that keeps us distinct, and that distinction, I think, is important so that we can interface with each other and and CO create together. There's there's, we all have our own aura. Every aura is unique. And when the when two auras come together, there's like a tertiary, a third aura that's created, and, like, that's the Tantra, that's the that's what happens. And so for me, it's like, I'm interested in that. I want to create that third or fourth or fifth, that extra aura that happens when we come together, but it's going to be all distorted. If I'm trying to be you, and you're trying to be me, or I'm trying to be something. It's like, all we can do is be what we are, and then just and then

and discover, like, what happens next. Like,

what happens, you know, last thing I'll say is, like, you've never, there's never been a you before. Like, there's for for what that is like. No one gets to tell you what that is, because there's never been you before. So you know, then you think about all the ways that we've been conditioned, and it's totally opposite to that. So it's no

wonder that's a elusive and scary concept for a lot of us.

Wil Fisher  12:42  
Yeah, that was really beautiful. Thank you for sharing all that and describing how you perceive that. And what was coming up for me is the was the word fun, that that that's what makes it all fun. That's what makes life this playful dance of discovery and creativity. And like you said, co creation, where we get to embrace our unique expression of consciousness and come together with these other unique expressions of consciousness and see what that fold looks like. What what this wholeness and this wholeness gets to create together. And yeah, there's just something really expansive about that. And it's interesting. There is sort of a emphasis, I think, on authenticity and self expression that we get to see play out in social media and with with content happening. And there's also the other side to that, which is comparison, right, where people are observing others and then trying to be that they they see it, and they believe that, oh, that's how I meant to enjoy my life. That's how I'm meant to be successful. And so it's an interesting paradox of of social media supporting this, this expression of self expression, but then in some ways, also hindering our ability to tap into that unique expression. And I know you're a content creator, so I'm curious if you have any anything to share around that a fabulous content creator at that. I love your content. Yeah,

Rocky  14:30  
it's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's I'm not immune to that comparison game, and I have to check myself often, because especially, you know, I think the the unfortunate thing about the world that we have lived in and are living in, and hopefully, I think, are transitioning out of, but it's, it's awkward transition, is that everything is measured and quantified with numbers. And so, you know, if we're looking at the value. Value of something or the value of someone, and then you're put or even just the value of one's presence and consciousness and impact, and then you're ascribing numbers to that. It makes the comparison game so pervasive, right? Because it's like, oh, I Yes, I believe that I create great content, but I can look at somebody else's page whose content I don't necessarily think is as as beautiful or intentional or meaningful as what I'm doing, but they have more followers and they have more numbers, and so it's like, oh, well, maybe I need to be doing what they're doing. You know, it's the algorithms and all this stuff. Just cause us to chase more to prove, you know, to prove that we're enough. And I think most of us are very vulnerable to the notion that we're not enough, and being so baked in to who we are that, you know, our whole world basically runs on people trying to prove something, one thing that they're talented, not beautiful enough, smart enough,

capable enough to

prove deservability. So, yeah, it's, I don't know how to necessarily navigate, like the algorithms and the, you know, the it the necessary kind of evils, I guess, of self promotion in the world of, you know, social media and content creation, without dipping into that game a little bit, I think you just have to, have to stay rooted and anchored in what's correct for you. You know, I, I just, I kind of ask myself, I know where my vulnerabilities are before I post anything, you know, am I posting this because I'm craving attention? Am I posting this because I'm trying to am I trying to prove something, you know? Am I whatever that is, that I'm that I deserve attention? You know? You know, am I, does this feel correct for me to share? Is this something that will be satisfying for me to put into the collective like, do I want to put this out there? More? Like, am I putting this out there because I'm trying to get something in return, and what is, of course, we're promoting things. Yeah, we're trying to get signups or get clients, or, sure, sure, we're also still hopefully contributing something that feels, that feels an integrity for us. So, yeah, I

mean, it's, it's, I feel that like I was just saying, was talking with someone

yesterday, like if because they were complimenting me on, on my my content, which I appreciated. And I was kind of like, like, how's it going, you know, with the various things that I'm, that I'm about? And I was like, Yeah, I don't really know, you know, I don't I don't care about your numbers, I don't care about any of that stuff. Just like, what's your experience? And like, you know, the the feedback they were giving is, like, you know, from the outside, from what, what is being seen, like the quality of what you're sharing is, is, is high, you know, like, that's, that's really how we can measure the the value of something is by its quality, by how much like spirit and authenticity isn't, because the numbers game is so fickle. And so, yes,

you know,

Wil Fisher  18:18  
yeah, so good. And I love those questions that you offered to support you in being clear around the energy behind what you're sharing, you know. And I think those types of questions are what help create a pure expression of self, which is, ultimately, you know, what I aim for when I'm sharing, and I it seems like you do as well is that I could have different things that I'm hoping might come out of the post, but I want this to be a pure expression of myself, and I don't want those things to be like you said, proving or attention, or those more shadow sides of sharing and what came through for me too is this connection between authenticity and enoughness, and this idea that the belief of I am not enough is the biggest obstacle to authenticity, which would also mean that enoughness is the strongest foundation for authenticity, that when we are grounded and rooted into knowing that we are always enough, that we are whole and complete, and that we are enough and deserving of love and deserving of all the best things that life and love have To offer, that from that place, authenticity is as natural as the plant growing behind you, right? It's like, we just get to be,

Rocky  19:49  
yeah, like, authenticity isn't something that you do or that you work on, you know? It's something that you relax into, and then you discover, um. I think, you know, we're all given the message at some point or another, even just, you know, the most wonderful upbringing ever, but we get this little micro trauma, I think that says, like, it's not

safe for you to be who you actually are, yeah, and, you know,

build on top of that, whatever strategies that that, that we develop to to want to fit in, we want to belong, we want to we want to play by the the rules of the tribe, so that we can have a place within the tribe. And and then we we get, we get pulled out of our authenticity. And you know, maybe what you were referencing in the not sure which clip it was that you had seen about the gayborhood, but

I believe I was, I really been reflecting on how because we're all so unique,

and we all have some, more than others, very mutated aspects of who we are, meaning the gifts that we have to share with the with the with the tribe, or with the collective, maybe gifts that emerge from within us as sort of a mutation, as something that's never been here before, there's something that's trying to be birthed through each one of us that's never been here before, and and then we share it, and we learn from each other, and Then we adopt new ways of being. But like, for for those of us that feel that kind of like, I don't feel like I fit in, I don't feel not in this world. I'm not in that world, like I'm going through this process. You know, we all are right now, of like something new is is emerging through me into the world. And that's usually the thing within us that we feel the most,

that feels the most

vulnerable, because it's not, it's not designed to be understood. There's no precedent for it. And so that are like, you know, suppress that. And I guess I I'm very aware of that tension of like, do I want to share this thing that I don't see anybody else talking about this or daring this or being this or expressing this. So, you know, I'm not sure if it'll be approved of, or if it'll fit in or belong. And the truth is, a lot of times when I do share and when I do follow my own kind of natural instincts, it does turn people off. You know, my network of influence is is in flux. You know, some people show up when I'm talking about this thing, and they will go away when I'm talking about this other thing, but I know that the right people will find you, and it's so much more satisfying to be seen and valued and appreciated, or that that very unique individual, like the very unique aspect of your of yourself, than it is to be approved of for the ways that you will contort yourself.

Wil Fisher  22:54  
Yeah, beautiful, yeah. It's like these codes, these unique codes that want to come through our expression of self that are the most unique and the most needed, in a sense, because they're new to this, this space that we're all in, are also often the ones that are the most daunting, the most scary to express, and Again, they're the most needed. So it's like, you know, maybe there's some kind of correlation of like, okay, this feels like the scariest thing for me to share right now. So it must be the thing for me to share, you know, um, yeah, that's interesting. The other thing I want to call out is this piece around, well, you say it in your, in this bio, that I love, that you just so brilliantly wrote a new bio for me, you know, in a short amount of time right before this interview, but you say in this, in this bio, to surrender into their unique brilliance, right? And some of that was coming through when you were talking again about authenticity, that it is our natural way of being, and that it isn't about trying to be authentic, doing authenticity, or pushing for authenticity or proving authenticity, but it's surrendering and and this correlation too around safety, that in order To surrender, we need to feel safe, and so there's this game or this intention around finding our safety in order to surrender into that authenticity, so those most unique, most daunting and scary codes can come through, and they are meant to come through. Yeah, let's see. Let's pivot to, I love that your Instagram little handle is holistic, hedonist, and I'd love to talk about those words separately, and then those words together, and the alchemy that happened. And when you bring those two words together. So let's, let's start with hedonist. So what? What does hedonist mean to you?

Rocky  25:10  
I mean to me, like, I probably have to, like, look up a dictionary definition of it. But to me, it's, it's, it's sort of an indulgence, an indulgence in the, in the carnal pleasures of of one's embodiment the sensual nature of life. You know, of course, like hedonism can have kind of a negative connotations like overindulgence or excess, and certainly I've explored my share of that. But that's well, I won't jump ahead into the holistic part. But, you know, I think the savoring, savoring the richness of life, and all the many forms, especially, you know, included, but not limited to the ones that society may deem more sort of perverse or inappropriate or shameful,

Wil Fisher  25:56  
beautiful. Okay, so, yeah, now let's go into holistic I think

Rocky  26:02  
that's what we've been talking about. Yes, you're

reading, yeah, the whole and, yeah, yeah, and, and for me, like holistic also brings with it the notion of, like, I would say, like, self respect and sustainability. Yeah. Um, a big part of my life seems to be about exploring, I say, the merger between spirituality and sexuality. But I think at another level, it's also how can I explore and indulge in the the pleasures of life that I that I feel compelled to in integrity and with a sense of self love, and, you know, not indulging in these things to run away from something, or because I don't feel like I'm enough. Or, you know, all these, all these motivations that can cause us reaching for things to fill something in us that's that's that feels lacking, or, you know, uncomfortable. But how can we navigate how can I navigate my own path of authenticity, especially when that that path seems to be taking me into areas and spaces that other people may deem or maybe even I might have stories it's not, it's not appropriate to go touch that. But then my instinct says, No, go touch it. And you're like, but I thought I wasn't supposed to touch that. Like, Well, does it feel right for you to touch that? Like, yeah, is it okay to do it? What are people gonna say if I touch that? You know? So I'm out here touching things, and I'm and then I kind of returned back home, you know, to myself, and said, Okay, what did I learn from that experience, and can I integrate that into the whole of who I am? So I'll

Wil Fisher  27:47  
leave it there. Yeah, beautiful. And that's kind of going into the alchemy of bringing those two words together. And so, yeah, you're already doing it. But anything more you can share about how one can approach hedonism from this holistic, holistic energy, and you know, just recognizing that the importance of that is because hedonism can end up being detrimental to folks, right? It can, if it's done out of balance, it can, it can hurt folks, and it can be done in a way that is harmful to their not only to their physical self, but to their sense of self, right? And so you just mentioned one of the ways that one of your strategies. It sounds like you didn't call it a strategy, but I'll just acknowledge that one could is to be asking yourself after some of these perhaps more hedonistic or pleasure pleasure focused experiences, to be in inquiry around it, instead of just Okay, next right. That's often for those who really are in the depths of hedonism, it's like next, right. It's like they finish a grinder hookup and then they're back on the app for the next one, without blaming, shaming, judging. That is often a pattern that I've that I've observed. And so any other thoughts on strategies to be in a more holistic, sustainable, self respecting approach to to pleasure

Rocky  29:25  
or hedonism? Well,

I don't know if I have strategies other than just sharing what my experience around this has been. And I can say that, you know, for many years, I've always felt this sort of, I'll call it a pressure to be an example of, like, when I was younger, it kind of felt like I need to be perfect, you know? I need to, I need to show the world that I like I have what it takes to actualize my potential. And part of that i. So part of that turned into me, then teaching the practices and techniques that I was learning because I was so truthfully I was younger, I was so afraid of failing, I was so afraid of not harnessing my potential in this lifetime. And that pressure kind of turned into almost like an obsession with personal development and spirituality and learning how to manifest and, and, and that kind of led me to yoga and teaching yoga which, which, I think actually was a journey that that brought me deeper into my own, to my body. You know, I never anticipated I would learn as much as I had, or experienced as much as I had, teaching yoga and learning about just what this form is capable of. But I'll say that, like throughout all that, I would never really intended to become a yogi or to be known in the world for that, I was always interested in more the life of an artist and a performer, and so there was always a part of me that felt like in order to continue being this version of myself, I need to kind of suppress or boundary or conceal these other aspects of I'll say my hedonism or just my sexuality, because it wasn't appropriate. You know, this wasn't appropriate to show this here. And over the years, I found that the more that I was exploring this part of myself, I was still indulging in all these other things, but because it was kind of in the shadows or something that I didn't want people to see, that's when it started to I wouldn't, I guess there was an element of shame around it, because I thought if people saw this part of me, they wouldn't still be able to to appreciate this part of me. So I need to kind of keep them separate. And over the years, that started to kind of morph and blend and soften a bit, but I found that it was during that time that I engaged in experiences and activities and, let's say, like, unsustainable behaviors that that didn't feel very holistic. I mean, in a sense, it felt holistic because I'm like, okay, like, by day, I'm this, and at night, I can be this. And I got to a point where I realized, relatively recently, last two years. So it was like, you know, this part of my my self, this part of of me, isn't going to go away. You know, I can't just, you know, take a vow of self, celibacy. Or it's not about the willpower to just like, not do that, not not explore this, because I want to. So instead of, instead of hiding it over here, let me actually take this part of myself and

present it, you know, Let

me fold this, integrate this into my artistry. You know, we all have experiences. I had plenty of experiences as a kid or growing up, or there was some shame installed around my sexual expression as it's coming online and stuff, and I always felt like, okay, that needs to be hidden and concealed. So just a long winded No,

I'd say, yeah. I'd say, like, for me, it's been about taking the It's Shadow Work, I guess, taking those parts of yourself that you think are inappropriate or wrong or or or that you kind of indulge in when you feel that frustration or that disconnection himself, and instead of just trying to will yourself from doing it like, how can you harness that? How can you turn that into an offering? How can you, how can you create something out of that energy doesn't have to necessarily be, you know, sex content, or that kind of thing. But, like, how can you, how can you

take that and create from it? Yeah,

Wil Fisher  33:50  
beautiful. So, but let's talk about sex content. So, how are you in relationship with, like, only fans with porn, with sex work, how? How does, how do those things play into your life at all?

Rocky  34:05  
If at all? I don't understand the question well.

Wil Fisher  34:10  
So, so when we look at sex as a offering, and we look at it as a way to engage with others and to connect with others. Some of the more I would say, perceived hedonistic or outside of the holistic umbrella, would be some of these topics that that you had mentioned in in our interview form. So that's why I brought them in. Is the the only fans, the porn and the sex work, and so I'm just curious if you want to share anything about how you are in relation to any of those three, uh, umbrellas, of, of, you know, sexual connection. Yeah. Sure.

Rocky  35:00  
Well, I haven't only fans, and I create, I co create what people would call porn, which I suppose renders me someone who who engages in sex for work. So I just

Wil Fisher  35:16  
briefly, quickly want to just acknowledge how I got a little shy around that, like suddenly I was like, Oh my gosh. I hope he's not gonna feel like I'm calling him out. Or this is like, I'm like, bringing in, this, these shameful topics. But I just, I think it's interesting that even like me knowing that these topics were on the table and me bringing them in, there was a little bit of, like, a reluctance or shyness that came out at this interview even, sure?

Rocky  35:44  
Yeah, so

I've watched and consumed porn since I was a teenager, and it was very much as I think is true for a lot of a lot of people, but certainly, you know, queer men, gay men,

that's how I learned about about sex. Yeah, I didn't have

an education otherwise around you know gay sex and gay sex health and so my my introduction to to my sexuality, in large part, was through the consumption of porn. I don't know that I personally have ever had a, like, addictive relationship to it, or where it's become

what's what I'm looking for,

like, habitual, you know? But I've, I've,

I've engaged in the consumption

of it, for sure, and so I think it's something that I've always been curious. It was something I was always curious about stepping into that world. And for me, it's a lot about experience, like, what? What would that experience be like? You know? And there were many opportunities, and I was like many, but there were several opportunities I was younger, to have said yes, to step into that, and it never really felt right. You know, I was afraid that if I if I share this part of myself with the world, then they won't take me seriously in these other areas that I'm interested in. I was still very much on this track of wanting to prove to the world that I'm smart and that I'm deep and that I have wisdom and that I deserve, you know, respect for my talents and my abilities. And to your point, like there was this idea that, like sex and sex work is something separate from all that. And there's that, you know, I'm not really demonstrating or sharing or showcasing my skills, if I'm just, you know, if I'm just presenting myself as a sexual being, and

Wil Fisher  37:43  
almost like those two things can't be held at the same time that if you are presenting yourself as a sexual being, then it belittles or brings down your talents, your skills, your guru Ness, your your you Know, yoginess, your spiritual evolution. You know, it's like that some, for some reason that would belittle that.

Rocky  38:06  
Yeah, right. And I think that's kind of what I'd be. I started to become,

what's the word?

I just, I didn't, I didn't want to accept that after a certain point, because it was like, Okay, if I had any, if I did have anything to prove to the world, in terms of all the words you just said, Miss, I have, and it's on public record

and and if my

instinct, which it very much, was it wasn't a mental decision, is pulling me in this direction to have this experience.

I have a choice, you know.

I have a choice to say this feels right, and this is something that feels like it's an integrity for me to explore. And I think also that the time is right in the world, and also just for myself and in the industry, where, like, I can walk this path authentically as myself. It's not going to suck me out of, you know, or pull me into spaces that that don't feel right to me, like I know how to say no and and how

to you know how

to move correctly, I believe. And so if anything, I was like, I'd rather be an example of, not necessarily, as I felt when I when I was younger, like how to be a perfect person, but I want to be an example of of taking a leap of faith and trusting in your in your gut, and doing what feels right for you, and not feeling like you have to choose which version of yourself is going to be most approved of and accepted by in the world. Because, you know, sure, there's lots of different aspects of me, and you can engage with whatever you choose, but you know, my very existence, and my very existence in this space and the spaces that I'm in is evidence that you can be a. It, you can be a multifaceted integrated human in all these different in

all these different aspects of who you

Wil Fisher  40:08  
are. Yes, yeah, that that wholeness can look any kind of way. And for me, it comes back to this principle that I understand of Tantra, that there is not a good or bad, that there is not an evil, there is everything is God. And so it's really the energy behind these things, and that we get to decide what kind of energy we put behind an only fans or porn. And so there is a potential trap in everything, and we get to play the game and see how we can be with these different things. Yeah, I will just ask one thing that I'm curious about, and which is when I sometimes think about my relationship with hedonism and and being holistic, or being sort of more discerning around being in sexual connection with others. What comes up for me sometimes is this fear that if I have more sexual relations, that it's going to impact my energy, that there's maybe these, like, I don't know. I've heard shaman folks talk about these, like entities, these, like, lower vibration, dynamic entities that happen or that come out when two people come together in sexual connection, and that you become more sort of at risk for getting the energy of someone else who maybe hasn't done the same level of work. I'm just curious if you have any experience or any thoughts on the energetic risks of connecting sexually with other people?

Rocky  42:11  
I don't necessarily subscribe

to that belief. Yeah,

Wil Fisher  42:15  
I don't know if I do either. This is one of

Rocky  42:19  
those that feel does that feel rights to you, that feel true? It

Wil Fisher  42:23  
hasn't. And one of the things that I've done is, after I have a more casual hookup, is I do check in with my energy, and I'm like, how am I feeling? Do I feel sort of bad or guilty, or do I feel like I took on something of his? And the answer has been typically no, and instead I feel excited, and I feel sort of like, I don't know, I feel like happy, and so I'm like, and so I've continued, you know, sometimes enjoying that kind of more casual, pleasurable experience, and but sometimes in the back of my head I'm like, am I, you know, putting myself at risk? So yeah, it's helpful for me to hear what you're saying.

Rocky  43:07  
Well, I think, you know, tantra and connection, and the idea of like penetration and being penetrated is, is something obviously that occurs in sex, but it's also something that occurs energetically, just in our shared aura, like when we come together. And this is very much, you know what I'm here for. Like, look at my design, my even the design, it's all about intimacy and aura penetration and the connection that happens. And so I will say that we're all we're all conditioning each other, right? So like you, that person is just as much at risk of being penetrated by your your frequency as you are to theirs. And that's why, for me, it's really important that whatever connections that I am making that I know personally how to discern if something is correct for me or not. The energy comes and comes, you know, is calling me out. You know, are you available for this? And inside my body goes, I don't ask questions about it. I don't try to figure out why. Just it doesn't feel correct. It's not a correct connection. And if the answer is, uh huh, I'm available for that. I have, I have an abundance of sexual energy, but if I use it incorrectly, it will burn me out, and it will deplete me. And then I could say, oh, it's because I took in that person's negative energy in their darkness. It's like, No, it's because I use my energy incorrectly. And I really don't believe that we take on we're not sponges, you know, in that, in that regard, we can be Empath, or we're deeply empathic to people's energy that is moving through us, and we may develop our own patterns of resistance around it, right? So, like, if someone's energy is passing through me and I don't like how it feels, I might like do something inside. I'm like, Oh, it possessed me, because I'm still holding on to this, this activation of how that, that that energy. Else, even though, when that person's gone, their energy is gone too. Can't hold on to someone's aura and keep it with you when they're not with around you anymore, but you can hold on to your own patterns within that so,

yeah, I I try to remember

that it goes both ways and so for me, and that's why I feel like at this stage in my life, stepping into this

industry,

I'm aware that I am conditioning the industry with who I am. You know, the content that I create and that I'm putting out there is a new contribution to this, to this industry that's never been before. And it's not, it's not something that I that I am super intentional about in terms of, like, here's the impact I want to have. But I just know that if I'm in integrity with myself, if I'm if I never put out a scene or anything where, like, I can say, everything that I've ever shot and put out has been reflective of a good day, like I had a great I had a good experience. I connected with this person. You know, we vibed, we like, we co created something intimate and hot and beautiful together. There might have been some awkward moments. There's different things going on, but that's life, like you work through them. And you sometimes there's conflict and there's little moments of tension you have to resolve and like, but that's like, then you bundle that up and package it and you and you offer it. And so, you know, we exist at a time now, within, within the the, I guess, adult film industry where, like, we do have more agency as creators, where we can, we can be more discerning about what we want to create and put out. And so, yeah, I just, I think more about like, what am I conditioning? Yes, the other person with, as opposed to, like, what are, what am I taking on from them that I need to protect myself?

Wil Fisher  46:54  
Yeah, beautiful. It's really empowering. Thank you for sharing that. So you started talking a little bit about your human design, and I'm wondering if we could segue into that for a little bit. So I think Is it right that you're a generator, and actually, before you answer that, if you could share, I think the human design might be a new concept for some of the listeners. So if you can briefly describe human design and share how that has been part of your discovery of self and and the work that you do with the folks that come to you for support.

Rocky  47:28  
Yeah, so I can safely say that human design is the most fascinating science system of understanding oneself that I've ever come across.

It's a synthesis of

several ancient wisdoms, yoga, astrology, the Chinese Yi Ching, Jewish mysticism, quantum physics, epigenetics, and it all comes together. You know? It's sort of like the synergy of all these different systems come together to create some something that hasn't done before, which is a unique body graph that gives you kind of a blueprint, an energetic blueprint, of the mechanics of your aura, essentially how it is that you interface with what we refer to as the neutrino ocean. So there's measurable we look at astrology, look at the movements of the planets and how that affects us, we can actually measure that now, because the neutrino field of information that is emitted by the planets has mass to it, and so at every any given moment, the planet has sort of a weather pattern of these little bits of information that we're moving through. It's like the fish that like someone talks to the fish about water, and they're like, what water we're swimming through an atmosphere of information that's so dense and so rich and so when you look at your horoscope, or you look at your your your chart, your natal chart, or your human design body Graph, you're looking at kind of a

representation of

what the neutrino ocean, what the celestial weather was when you, when you, when you were imprinted. And design has some unique aspects to that. There's a binary aspect to it. There's the day that your body, your vehicle, your form, was imprinted, and then the day that your personality, or your soul was kind of imprinted. And when you kind of realize that there's these binary aspects of yourself, there's the passenger, the personality that's watching the movie, and then there's the body, there's the form, the vehicle that's actually navigating this terrain, you start to understand a little bit why life is so hard. Because you're like, oh, this person that's watching the movie has been trying to control the vehicle and get sucked into the movie and fix and, you know, do something about the movie. And so it's, it's it provides you with a strategy to understand how it is that you are uniquely designed to connect with your own inner authority. So it's not a dogmatic system. Them. It's not like, not based on belief. It's sort of a mechanical system that helps you kind of take control, or take the reins, so to speak, of your own agency to make decisions that are correct for you. And from that place, it says, you know, you might have a an idea. You know you might you might have formulated in your mind an idea of what your life is supposed to look like, but like. That's just something your mind made up based on whatever. But each of us are designed to live out a very specific and, you know, unique life, and we that's not something that we get to decide necessarily, but something that we get to discover when we, as we said before, surrender, not surrender into God, or surrender into the mystery of life, all you can. But we actually surrender into this this form, this vehicle, this body that that may feel very mystical because we don't understand it. We get so afraid to say, You need to feel safe in order to surrender, you also need to trust that your body has wisdom to it. We've been so disconnected from that and convinced that we have to decide, and, you know,

control our reality

with our mind. And you know, human design gives you a strategy to connect with your own inner authority. And everybody's different,

yeah,

Wil Fisher  51:22  
and I found it so helpful. I've got a girlfriend, one of my best girlfriends here, Ellie. Shout out to Ellie. She's obsessed with it, and she refers to all of our friend group as their you know? Oh, well, she's a manifesting generator. Oh, the projector is coming, like every time she's talking about someone that is part of the descriptor, and she has really helped me sometimes remember so I'm a manifest team generator. She's helped me remember some of the strategies, or some of the ways that my design best operates. And you know, going back to the the habit that some of us get into of comparing and then thinking, Okay, well, this is how you do this thing. These are helpful hints. They've been helpful hints for me to be like, wait. Okay, so for them, that's what rest and recuperation looks like. But for me, it might look differently, and my design actually says that it kind of looks like this. Why don't I give that a try? And then I do, and I'm like, oh, yeah, that is really nourishing. That's really helpful for me, or, you know, oh, for them, this is how they connect with their intuition. So it's not working for me, but why don't I try this other thing that's spelled out for me in my human design, you know? And then I try it, and then often it's like, right on. So, yeah, I think it's super fascinating, too, and so helpful.

Rocky  52:49  
Yeah, it's a magnificent tool. I mean, like I said, I, I, I'm not really interested in human design necessarily. I'm interested in what it means to be uniquely self expressed and to be you so that we can actually connect, like, I can't connect with you if you're not being you and I'm being me. And I've become so allergic to that feeling of like, two kind of masked up individuals trying to, like, it's like you can't get in there. You know, my whole design is about transparency and sexuality being transparent, but it's but it's really about intimacy, which requires that we first relax and be ourselves, and then we can actually vibe. And so design, because that's what my whole life is, sort of devoted to. Design is a is a really cool kind of way of hanging out with someone and being like, Oh, this is how to this is how to treat you, to best respect you, and this is how to treat me, to best respect me. And then we can actually see what happens when we come together, instead of showing up and projecting all these expectations on what's supposed to happen and who you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be. So I reference design as a tool that I use to connect with

my authenticity and help empower that and others. Yeah,

Wil Fisher  54:09  
and it comes back to what we were sharing at the top of this interview, of the power and magic that takes place when to folks who are expressed in the uniqueness of their consciousness with full authenticity come together to create something more magical and beyond what each individual can create on their own. Yeah, beautiful. Any final things you want to share as we wrap up today's conversation,

Rocky  54:37  
can I ask you? Do you know anything else about your design manifesto generator, so file your authority, yeah. So

Wil Fisher  54:46  
I know my authority comes from my gut is that, is that a correct way to express it? You might say cruel, yeah. And so I do my best to pay attention to that. When I'm trying to make decisions, I know that I have a lot. Of energy, and I have a lot of energy to do a lot of things. And in the past, I had kind of felt like that might be wrong, and that I had my hand in too many pots, and sometimes I do get out of balance in that way, and I have to rein it in, but I also know that I have the capacity to do that and do that successfully, and that it actually gives me more energy and lights me up. And so I've given myself more permission to do the podcast and do the business and do the Yeah, to multitask in a good way. Yeah. So those are some of the initial thoughts that I have about why, yeah. How about you? Anything that strikes you about being a generator? Is that right?

Rocky  55:39  
Yeah, I

love your generator. I'm a six two profile, which is the archetype of oh, I'm

Wil Fisher  55:44  
a six two. I'm a six.

Unknown Speaker  55:46  
You're a six two, ah,

Rocky  55:49  
oh, okay,

Wil Fisher  55:50  
tell me what was that response? What is oh,

Rocky  55:53  
I just love meeting other six twos because it's such a unique I

Wil Fisher  55:57  
know I'm a six, a six as well. I'm not sure what my other number is. I have

Rocky  56:01  
a six two or 630 okay, okay, cool.

Wil Fisher  56:05  
And Ellie, this girl that I'm talking about, she's a six as well. She wants to start a six mastermind. Actually, the two of us crazy, yeah, like that. I'd

Rocky  56:14  
love to be a part of it. My other six lines, it's a very I mean, we're, they'll, this is a topic for the conversation, but we're moving human design kind of came about around 40 years before the global shift in 2027 into a new background frequency. And so it's, it's really a system that's that's designed to help us operate correctly as we navigate a very new world that you know is not going to operate in the ways that it used to, as evidenced by everything falling apart that we've grown to, you know, put our faith and our, you know, security in. And the background frequency you're moving into is a six line background frequency, which is all about everything we're talking about off, you know, being a role model of authenticity, that's sort of the new the the new form of leadership in the world is not to tell people what to do, or not even to show people what to do, but just to show people how you are, who you are, and awaken their own agency to discover that for themselves. And so the sixth line goes through three distinct life phases. The first 30 years were third lines, which is the experimenter phase. So talk to most six lines up until age 30, their life was kind of a roller coaster of things not working out the way we thought. And then from 30 to 50, we go through this phase of deep kind of introspection and observation of being on the roof. And so that's where I find myself now. Same lot of lot of healing, lot of processing, and it's, it's a baffling journey, because, you know, we are future beings, in a sense, we're looking at what's coming and what is, is, you know, so many of the rules that we've been taught to live By just don't work, and it can really destroy us as six lines to try to there's been a very fitting conversation six lines on the roof. So it's all expressed through amazing connection here.

Oh, I

Wil Fisher  58:13  
love that so much. Well, thank you so much. This has been a total pleasure and a total joy, and I appreciate you making the time, and I'm so glad that I followed the call to reach out and we got to have this space together. So thank you. Yeah,

Rocky  58:31  
thank you so much for calling me out and for giving me something to say. Aha to it occurs to me that we've we've talked about all the different parts of myself in this conversation that I used to think couldn't coexist. So I you know, this is continued evidence of the integration of these parts, and I appreciate you for holding space for all of them to come out.

Wil Fisher  58:53  
Thank you so much for listening, beloveds. I loved that conversation. I hope you did as well. I will be putting Rocky's information in my show notes so you can get in touch with him and connect with his work. As always, my info will be there as well. Thank you so much for listening. Much love to you. Oh my god, as beloveds, what a joy it was to be with you today. Let's hang out again soon. Okay, and if you can think of a friend who would benefit from hearing this, please share it with them, sending so much love and light to you today and every day until next time. Peace you.