All Our Relations with Wolf Martinez

Today’s guest is the incredible Wolf Martinez who identifies a Human Being, as an In-Between person, between male and female and a person with Native and Hispanic roots. Wolf leads retreats and ceremonies across around the world and practices healing arts based in Indigenous and Oriental Medicine, as well as Life Counseling. His desire is to help people become more human, and find their Freedom and Unity with All that Is.  

We begin our conversation with Wolf sharing an awe-inspiring and deeply emotional story—one filled with spirit-led synchronicities—of discovering that they have a daughter. It’s miraculous, heart-touching, and a testament to the spiritual threads that weave through our lives.

We also dive into the power of ancestral work, exploring how healing ourselves can liberate and heal our ancestors. And we reflect on the idea of “ancestors of the future,” inspiring us to live with intention for generations yet to come.

Wolf illuminates the sacred, traditional role of Two Spirits as caretakers of children, language, songs, and stories, reminding us that even if we don’t have biological children, our actions ripple through future generations. We explore the idea of All Our Relations and the importance of honoring our interconnectedness.

From there, we unpack the power of language—how shifting the way we speak about work, challenges, and even ourselves can open doors to liberation and possibility. 

I share some wisdom on celebrating our differences and embracing our uniqueness rather than forcing conformity.

And finally, we close with a grounding meditation and a blessing, wrapping this conversation in love and intention.

Learn more about host of Queerly Beloved, Wil Fisher here- https://www.wil-fullyliving.com/

Transcript

Queerly Beloveds, we are gathered here today for some juicy conversations about all things spiritually, queer and queerly spiritual. I'm Sylvia Wilga rainbow, a spiritual life coach, retreat host with the most and a drag queen, and I'll be chatting with the most amazing folks, or simply sharings of wisdom on my own. If you like what I'm serving, please remember to subscribe so we can keep hanging out. All right, let's get super woo together in this spiritual AF, queer AF, cosmic container, and blast off. Hello, beloveds, and welcome back to another episode of queerly Beloved. Today's guest is the incredible wolf Martinez, who identifies as a human being, as an in between, person between male and female and a person with native and Hispanic roots. Wolf leads retreats and ceremonies across the world and practices healing arts based in indigenous and Oriental Medicine, as well as life counseling his desires to help people become more human and find their freedom and unity with all that is I loved having this conversation with Wolf, and I'm so excited for you to get into it. So we start by Wolf sharing this awe inspiring and deeply emotional story, one filled with spirit led synchronicities. It's a story of him discovering later in life that he has a daughter that he didn't know about. It's miraculous, it's heart touching, and it's a testament to the spiritual threads that weave through our lives. We also dive into the power of ancestral work, exploring how healing ourselves can liberate and heal our ancestors. And we reflect on the idea of ancestors of the future, inspiring us to live with intention for generations to come. Wil illuminates the sacred traditional role of Two Spirit as caretakers of children, languages, songs and stories, reminding us that even if we don't have biological children, our actions have a ripple effect for future generations, and we explore the idea of all our relations and the importance of honoring our interconnectedness. From there, we unpack the power of language and explore how shifting the way we speak about work challenges about ourselves can open doors to liberation and possibility. I then share some wisdom on celebrating our differences and really embracing our uniqueness rather than forcing conformity. And finally, we close with a grounding meditation and a blessing, wrapping this conversation with love and intention. So settle in my beloveds and enjoy this potent, powerful and touching conversation. Let's begin. Hello Wolf. Thank you so much for being here on really beloved. How are you today? My love.

Wolf  2:48  
I'm fantastic. Wil, thank you for having me. It's an honor to be here with you this way, in any way, in every way. Oh, thank

Wil Fisher  2:56  
you. Yeah. So I'm so excited to get into this conversation. You and I have had some zoom calls in the past, and realized that we were getting into some deep areas, some some juicy subjects, and for me, as a podcast host that likes to bring these conversations to the wider public so that folks can learn from people like you. I in those conversations we've had previously realized, Wait, let's, let's pause this a moment and create some some structure around this so that maybe other folks can get to benefit from this deep wisdom that you hold. So thank you for making the time for this today.

Wolf  3:44  
Like I said, I'm honored to be here with you today. I always like to start with a prayer myself and and, and, you know, just want to, want to say that, you know, um, if there's anything that comes out of this conversation that it is able to to uplift and bring some help, some medicine for for somebody out there, what we are doing here today is able to help in some, some way, some big way, for for somebody, or more than just one, you know, however, whoever, and I'm opening myself up to Great Spirit and to to to the to mother earth And to the spirits the grandfathers and the grandmothers, to the Ancient Ones, to all that is so that you grandfathers grandmothers can have a voice in sharing whatever it is that that wants to be shared here today and. Pray for, for many blessings, for, for all people. Homo Tak, we

Unknown Speaker  5:04  
also thank you. Thank you for that prayer.

Unknown Speaker  5:10  
So

Wil Fisher  5:12  
I have a bit of a ritual opening question, which is a playful question, and the question is, Who are you in this moment, on this day in this life? But tell me by describing the perfect drag avatar. And, you know, with a drag avatar, it doesn't have to be a drag queen. It can be a animal, a element. It can be anything, but that's, that's the invitation, and as and I am happy to go first, if that's helpful, is a bit of a creative question, okay, whatever. Okay, well, if you're ready, let's go.

Wolf  5:54  
I mean, the first thing that came up to me was the grandmother, you said the the perfect, I would say ideal. Yeah, to represent, you know what I'm feeling in this moment, and, and, and, and what is wanting to move in this moment is, is the grandmother. She's, uh, she's an ancient one, and she's so amazing. She's really old, and she has so much experience. She's a big nurturer, and really takes care of the people in a in a very loving way, in a very nurturing way, in a very caring way, but, but she's also, you know, she, she, um, she's, she's firm at times, she's, she's like, No no when it's time, you know, if it's necessary, she'll be like, no, no, no. You're not going to get away with that.

Wil Fisher  6:59  
Awesome. I Awesome. That's beautiful. We got some grandmother energy in our space. I love that. Thank you. Hmm, yeah, and as you said that, it had me tune into this energy as student, as as grand daughter or grand son or or grandbaby, and not to say that I don't respect the the the years that I've put into my work and To the experience that I have. I I recognize that I hold this potential as an elder down the line, and in this moment, I feel like a in my drag avatar would be this hungry student or this, this grandchild, excited to hear grandmother's stories. Yeah, yeah. So that's that's what I'm tuning into. So I know that you have recently received this exciting press, this this interest from the world around your new, unexpected family member, you know, speaking of granddaughter, speaking of these familial ties, congratulations. First of all on this,

Wolf  8:33  
it's still so

Wil Fisher  8:39  
yeah and so I feel like we could spend the whole hour talking about this, but without using all the time, because there's other topics I'd love to get into. I'd love you to give a brief explanation of what we're talking about this new daughter in your life, and then maybe share about what this has meant to you, from a spiritual perspective, to suddenly have this new relative and a very important relative.

Wolf  9:14  
So to give the listeners here a brief explanation, um, four years ago, three weeks after shut down lockdown, COVID, um, my husband and I had four guys come here to stay with us, to quarantine on on Our property we weren't quarantining, where we were quarantining for two months, and we were holding a lot of ceremony, doing what we could to hold the counterbalance for what was happening in the country and in the world. You know, there was, like so much fear, and we were doing everything that we could to just. Just lift the energy and hold love and hold the counterbalance. And we were in the midst of a four day weekend that we had chosen to do numerous ceremonies over that four days. And the last day was Tuesday, the seventh of April. It was a full moon. We were doing ceremony that evening, that morning, I got a message on Facebook from this incredibly beautiful young woman. I was like, wow, she's like, she's so pretty, and we had no friends in common. And I just thought, yeah, I was gonna, I almost deleted the message, I mean, deleted the friend request, but then I saw that she sent me a message. And so I looked at the message, and she basically was saying, you know, through due to a DNA test, Ancestry DNA test, we have a parent child match. And she'd been looking for me her whole life. She was 33 Wow. And you know, it was a one night stand back in 1986 and she said, You know, I know this is shocking news, and you might need a few days to to process, but I hope that you choose to respond to my message, and I mean, I read that, that message on Facebook a couple of times before it really sunk in. Like, I mean, it didn't really sink in, actually. It was shock. It was shocking. Like this, this girl thinks she's my what, she's my who, and she thinks I'm her what. And I couldn't say the words daughter or father. I was just like, she thinks, what? And I actually, I read it like four times before it clicked, you know, Ancestry DNA match. So I went to my ancestry page, and sure enough, at the top of my page, above my my my sister, my mother, it was my daughter, Alexandra, Lovett is said, parent child match probability 100%

Unknown Speaker  12:07  
Wow,

Wolf  12:09  
that's what. I mean, I did that. I was, what, like, I'm a gay man. I mean, yeah, I, when I was young, I fooled around with a few women here and there. But, I mean, I thought I knew the few women that I had fooled with, around with. I thought I so I was confused. I was like, how does this How is this happening? And my I caught a scream from my husband. He came running over, and then I show I couldn't even say it, you know, I said, Look at this. Look at this. And he looked at the screen, and he screamed. He was like, Oh my God. He was so excited. I was like, and it was the first time I audibly heard, you know, you have a daughter. It was like this jolt of electricity that went through me and and the, the funny thing is, a friend of mine here I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico, friend of mine that leads men's circles. In February, I went to his men's circle, and there was probably about, you know, 15 guys, and I think I was the only gay man or two spirit in the circle. I mean, I don't really know for sure, but I believe that I was and and there was song and dance to start the circle for the first hour, and then we sat down for some time to have a talking circle. And the subject of the talking circle that my friend Tim introduces, you know, what have you fathered or what are you fathering in your life? And I mean, the question shocked me, because I had never in my life considered anything I do as fathering. I had never considered being a father. I had never considered that any that I'm fathered anything or fathering anything, and in the work that I do, the healing work that I do. And you know, leading sweat lodge is the womb of the mother. And when I stand outside that lodge after the ceremony is over and I and I'm helping the people come out of the lodge, I feel like I'm mothering. Mothering is what I do. And so I said that, you know, it was my turn to speak. I was like, fathering on this. That's like a weird question to me. I never even thought of that question ever in my life. But what I do is mothering and well, i. Mean, that was in February of 2020, and then this lockdown happened, and then I get this message from Wow young woman. She says, you know, basically, hi, Dad, I've been looking for you my whole life. Wow. I mean, I still, I mean, just saying this, just now, I just got chills up and down my spine and goosebumps. I called her immediately. I wrote back. I said, I don't need a few days. I need your phone number. I'm confused here, and I have questions. So my husband and I FaceTime with her immediately, and I got her on the phone. She, I mean, I was again, I was, like, just struck with how incredibly beautiful she is. And she was crying, you know, and I said, you know, how, how? I mean, how. I don't know how this happened. How did this happen? Do you know how this happened? And she said, Well, my mom just basically said, you know, she had a one night stand. She picked you up in a gay bar. You guys were both very drunk. You snuck out in the middle of the night or the crack of dawn. It was sneaking out and she knew your first name, and she never knew anything else about me. So so my my daughter, Alexandra, is her name, Alexandra, love it never had a way of finding me until these home tests came out, and I happened to be on ancestry, wow, and, and, and, you know, as as as the pieces of the puzzle are clicking, I mean, there's more details that I need to go into right now about, you know, yes, we were living in the same location, and it was clear, It was obvious that this was, I mean, and then looking at her, there was family resemblance there. So it was like the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. But at the same time, it was like, you know, I mean, it was just I was in shock. I'd never been in shock like that before,

and at some point she said, Oh, and by the way, she called me papa, the first out of the first out of the starting gate. She called me papa. And I was like, No, I found you on Facebook after getting our DNA test, and I found you. And look, finding you on Facebook, I see that I have spent my life looking for my dad, and I get two for the price of one. Amazing, obviously, she saw my husband on my Facebook page. She said she looked at every picture I'd ever posted. Wow, the day before. I mean, she found me on Monday afternoon. I didn't get her message until Tuesday morning, so she had half a day to really like, investigate and come to know me a little bit right through my Facebook page. I was I had no clue. I just totally clueless. But she said, By the way, Papa, my last name, love it is a French name that means little

Unknown Speaker  18:31  
wolf. Wow, epic. And,

Wolf  18:35  
and that was a moment. I mean, I almost dropped my phone. That was a moment, you know, I looked up at the sky, and I said to spirit, like, what are you doing? Like you are clearly, clearly behind this, clearly. I mean, what are you doing?

So I wanted to give that little bit of a background, yeah, to respond to your question, you know, the first couple of weeks, my, my, you know, I cried for two I couldn't stop crying for two weeks. Wow, and, and, and part of what was swimming around, you know, in my heart, in my head, in my spirit, was a father, you know, if, like, I never even thought about being a father. How do you how do I like, I don't know how to do that. I don't know what that means. And I kept thinking that, you know, in that evening we had our ceremony. That Tuesday night, of course, the intention behind the. Ceremony completely shifted, given the events of the day, and, and I went into that ceremony like, I don't know what that father I don't know what that means. I don't know and how do you do that with a she was 33 at the time. How do you do that with a 33 year old woman, like she's a woman, and, and, and and it dawned on me that I don't know, yeah, no, I don't know how to be a father. I don't know what that means, but I do know how to love and, and, and, and the only thing I can do is just love this young woman who had been looking for me her whole life, who'd never had a father, her mother never married, she never had a stepfather, she never had a father figure. So it was, you know, in the years of doing healing work that I've done, you know, how many people have I worked on, if not everybody, that has parent issues of some sort, you know, and, and I knew Okay, so she's never had a father, like, Okay. How do I? I just gotta love this girl, you know, I just gotta love, I gotta love my, my, my, my daughter.

Wil Fisher  21:21  
Amazing. What a beautiful story. It makes me emotional hearing it, and you asked this question, spirit, what are you doing? I love the humility of that, like, What? What? What is this? And I'm know that this is still fresh for you, but what have you come to learn, what have you come to realize, how is spirit answering that question? What is this? What is this opportunity calling you into how is it?

Wolf  21:50  
Um, well, could you ask more than one question there? Right now,

Wil Fisher  21:56  
I asked like, four. I apologize.

Wolf  22:02  
Um, my father had passed in 2018 and after he I knew before he passed that he had been doing some work to build our family tree and to find our our Ascendance and grandparents, great grandparents, great great grandparents. We knew our grandparents, but we didn't know our great great grandparents. And so I got on to ancestry. After he had passed, I felt like, you know, he had left me signs, and I felt inspired to continue the work in building our family tree. So I I did my DNA test, and I got on the ancestry, looking, researching for those, for those Ascendance and and then, you know, I hadn't, obviously, I didn't have any idea that I had descendants. I wasn't looking in that direction, sure. But then when that happened, you know, this was two years after my DNA test. When this happened,

I felt like my dad passed away, and he got home to the other side, and he always longed for a granddaughter. Knew that there was one. He saw that there was one. And so I felt like he gave me signs to get on the ancestry, that he knew this would come, that he wanted her to be a part of our family, that he could see she was, you know, on some level, a

Speaker 1  23:41  
lone wolf, alone, Little Wolf.

Wolf  23:45  
She had her mother, she had her grandmother. At the time, a year and a half after she and I met her mother and her grandmother passed away. Wow, she didn't have the closest relationship with her mother, and on some levels, she she did feel alone. She did feel there was that loneliness. And maybe it was, maybe, probably it was stemmed from not having ever had a father. And I felt like my dad was really behind this whole thing. So in the question of, you know, what are you doing? The answer I got was that, yeah, I don't remember the other questions that, you know,

Wil Fisher  24:29  
that one's perfect, yeah, really, in that I hear this, this puzzle, you know, this puzzle that was meant to be brought together for healing, for your your father, and for you and for her, and that in, in weaving this together through these miraculous synchronicities, miraculous, yeah, you all were able to find this connection. You know, you know, that's. Coming to mind is the image of like a heart a puzzle, you know? And there's pieces of the heart puzzle that are missing, and they were able to come together in this beautiful way. And the other thing that was coming through for me, you know, I was sharing before we jumped on that, I'm heading to Scotland next month, next week, to explore that part of my ancestry. So I realized I was 45% Scottish, and have never been to Scotland, and I'm just really present to the opportunity to learn about who we are through ancestry work. I think it's such a fabulous way to learn about who we are by connecting with who we were in the past. You know what? What brought us to this moment? And what's interesting about this new turn for you is, I think there's also opportunity for us to learn who we are from our descendants, or the it's interesting. I was at a radical fairy gathering recently, and they talked about the ancestries of the future. They talked about which I, you know, I don't know semantically, if that's correct, but it was so beautiful. And they talked about the radical fairies that are not yet born, that are coming, and how we get to hold space for them, and how they are part of our story, too. And so I get to learn about myself from the ancestry of the past, but I can also be thinking about the ancestors of the future, and that is a new invitation for me, and I hear it present in your story. I don't know if that that resonates

Wolf  26:47  
so early on and still to this day. You know we've only known I've only known Alexandra for four years, and every time we're together, we discover these i i don't know synchronous cities, I see so much of the things that she says, and does that blow my mind? Because it's like, well, I mean, I didn't raise you. How did you learn those phrases? How are you, you know, like she has so many of my traits, and not just physical, I'm talking, you know, other traits that are not physical and, and it really is, is really mind blowing, what the DNA actually carries, yes, and, and, you know, we know indigenous people, native people. We know that that so much of who we are comes from our parents, our grandparents, our great grandparents, our ancestors. We know that so much of what we are, who we are, is going to affect the generations yet to come. So everything that we do in our ceremonies is in consideration of the seven generations that came before and the seven generations yet to come. Because every decision we make in this life is not affecting our life. It's affecting the seven generations, and with that kind of wisdom or consideration of that knowledge, it really forces us to think twice, right in every choice that we make in knowing that, okay, everything I'm doing is going to not, not just affect become my children, is going to affect my grandchildren. It's going to affect their grandchildren down the line. And so, you know, do you really want to indulge that addiction. Do you really want to indulge that habit? Do you really want to make that choice? Sure. I mean, because your life doesn't belong to you, it's not yours. Your life belongs to the seven generations, yes, and, and, and maybe, maybe that addiction is something that came from our ancestors, and it's not the addiction, it's the feeling behind the addiction that causes it right? It's the it's the it's the insecurity or the feeling of unworthiness or not belonging that is so often leads people into into their addictions. And yeah, I mean, my grandpa, I learned that he carried that, and then in a ceremony, I saw that there were others behind him. What I learned was by making the. Choice not to do this. I was liberating those ones that came before me, and I see that my daughter struggles with those things too. And by being who I am today, you know, has really had an effect. I don't have to tell her anything just by being, you know, because I don't, you know, that was another part of how you father a 33 year old, like, I want to tell her what to do, although I did kind of want to tell her what to do, but I was like, No, I'm not going to tell her what to do. You know, it's her life, you know? Yeah, sure, um and um. But by by living the way I live in a whole example that I hold, it's I see how these things rub off,

Wil Fisher  30:55  
yeah, absolutely. And it does feel like such a pivotal time for humanity to be looking at things from this seven generation perspective, and I feel like one of the reasons that we are where we're at with things like climate change is because folks have had a myopic perspective, and their day to day decisions are based on what best serves them, rather than this wider, larger picture perspective that we are responsible for, not just this moment in this life, but for much, much greater, more expanded responsibility. So, yeah, I think it's such an important theme to bring

Wolf  31:45  
this is bringing up something that I want to sorry. Oh, please go for it, that I feel is relevant and I don't want to forget it. Yeah, you know, I feel this podcast is probably going out to the you know, fairy community, queer community, gay community, whatever you know, and most of us, most of us don't have children, most of us probably won't have children, or maybe most of some of us will adopt children. But in the old way, in native ways, Two Spirit people, we were the caretakers of the children, although oftentimes we didn't have our own children. Biologically. We, we, you know, if a child was orphaned, they were often given to one of the two spirits in the tribe to raise that child. We were, we were the caretakers. That was part of our role, to take care of the children to take care of the language, to take care of the songs and the stories and many things that we were the caretakers. I think that's not just true about two spirits. I It's true about humans. You know, the warriors had their role in how they took care of the tribe. The women had their role in how they took care of the tribe, and the two spirits, we had our roles in how we took care of the tribe. And so there was different roles, but all of them were about taking care and nurturing and ensuring not just the survival, but that the tribes thrived through the year, through the winter. And so you know as as queer, two, spirit fairies, whatever, however you identify, maybe you don't see a lot of children in your life. Maybe you do, but that may be in this moment, you don't know what the future holds. No matter what you do now, it will have an impact on the future generations. Doesn't have to be your biological blood. It will affect the coming generation. So that's just part of the wisdom that's been passed down through the generations. This is how indigenous people have always lived, and not just, you know, I'm not just talking about North America, Central or South America, but you know, around the world, including your ancestors from Scotland and from Europe and Asia and Africa. And you know, this is wisdom that indigenous people always held on to, and this is why, when we're in ceremony, we call our ancestors, because, you know, we're maybe going to that ceremony to heal something or change something within. Ourself, and as we do so, we're affecting so much more than we will ever see and ever understand.

Wil Fisher  35:10  
Yes, yeah, one of the things that I love, that I've learned from indigenous folks is this idea of all my relations, this, this reminder that we are all related. And so even for the folks that you're speaking to, the queer folks who maybe will never have biological children, it's this reminder that, in a sense, we do that these are our children, these are our brothers, these are our aunts and uncles. All of us are related. And so that when we think about this world and the future of this world, the future of humanity, it does matter, even if we don't have a child and a grandchild that is going to be impacted, in a sense, we do, because we are all related.

Wolf  35:56  
You know, we're talking about societies and traditions in which we were not just included but embraced as as members of the tribe, as part of the people, right, and our dominant patriarchal society has shunned us and tried to push us away and the acceptance of every child was part. It was not just acceptance. The English is such a strange thing here. It wasn't just acceptance. It was, it was. But you know, in English, you would say, okay, every child that was born was not just born to the mother and father. Was born to the tribe of the tribe, and so they every child was nurtured and and included and and the spirit of that child, the gender of that child which was revealed, the child would reveal their gender at the age of, you know, two or three, or, you know, whenever that child revealed their gender. But regardless, the spirit of that child was nurtured by the parents, the grandparents, and by the whole of the tribe, in the knowing that every child born is bringing a gift for them our differences, what we have in common with one another, greatly outweighs our differences. This is how we know that we are all related. But what is what is different in each individual is a gift that we are bringing to to help and serve the greater whole, and in this dominant society, yeah, we've been shunned, we've been pushed away, we've been killed. We've been, you know, erased from history, or tried to be erased from history. But the acceptance we can't look outside for that, right? We have to accept ourself. We have to look inside. We have to accept ourself. And in doing so, and maybe this is why, because in the in the ability of really accepting and loving ourself the way we are that really empowers us to just be who we are, right? It's, it's, it's, it's not as important if you accept me or if you judge me, I'm still me, and I'm going to be me, and I accept me, and I love me. And if you love me, hallelujah, thank you. And if you don't well, thank you for revealing not to go in that direction, but to go in another direction. I mean, as human beings, we're loving beings. We have the capacity to love all people. We've been conditioned in this society to really think so much about ourself and not think about the greater whole of all people, which is a crime against humanity. I feel, but innately, we all have that care for humanity. You know, somebody walking down the street, you know, falls down, or whatever. You know, the people come running, right? Because that's just our instinct as human beings. They're not wondering, oh, well, if he is He? Is he? Is he a Republican? Is he?

Wil Fisher  39:40  
Yeah, so so much good stuff. And what I want to speak to is this acceptance, or Yeah, I agree that there's a better, there's, there's a more. It's, maybe it's embrace, a celebration of the differences. There's been such an emphasis on everyone conforming and everyone finding the. The common way that we move forward. And what that does is it can potentially strip us of the unique gifts that we are meant to bring and so to come from this place, grounded in the knowing that we bring special codes that we are meant to bring into this world, into this human tribe that despite the world telling us that we need to conform and we need to be like everyone else, if we can come back to this knowing that we hold something sacred and something unique, and if we're able to be grounded in that and allow our authentic expression of our unique consciousness to come through, then all these beautiful gifts, all these beautiful lights, come together in a way that perhaps works, in a way that perhaps humanity can be this sustainable harmony of of expression of an expression of life, and I feel like that's so much of the work that we are invited into at this, this new wave of consciousness.

Wolf  41:09  
You say, if we are able to blah, blah blah, be grounded, accept love. You know, I heard you say, if we are and I would not say that. I would say when, when

Wil Fisher  41:28  
we are able to, oh, yes,

Wolf  41:31  
and, and, it's not work. There's no work, yeah, okay, thank you. It's just love. And if loving is work, it's not love. Love is love. It's it's in the heart, it's in the spirit, it's who we are. And you know, I used to say for years, and I hear people say it too, you know, I'm working on myself and blah, blah, blah, and it's like, you know, one of my elders early on said, while working on yourself doesn't work. Just love

beautiful. And you know, we've been conditioned to think that there's this work that we have to do and and if we from my experience, I just say from my experience, if I approach my spirituality, my relationship with myself, my relationship with my husband, if I approach relationship period, whether It's with spirit, with self or another person as work, it's not fun, sure, it's harder, right? Yeah. And if it's not fun, it's not going to bring us joy. And if it's not bringing us joy, then we're kind of like, you know, Okay, I gotta go, you know, my mom, yeah. And so it's, I mean, and I know that sometimes, you know, for some people, you know, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, whatever, lovers, husbands, whatever wives, sometimes it feels like work and and for me, you know, early on in that recognition, it was like, Okay, what do I have to change inside myself so that I can approach these relationships in a way that doesn't feel like work. I don't need them to change, because that's the work. If we think we need them to change, then good luck, because changing oneself is not an easy thing, but it can be easy, but trying to change another is futile. And if you're trying to change another, you're not you're not loving how they are and who they are. We're crying to be loved how we are and who we are, and if we're approaching that in a way that's demanding, then it ain't gonna work. We have to approach in a loving and a respectful way ourself and each other. And we can't give respect if we don't give it to ourself first, right? We can't give humility if we don't give it to ourselves first. We can't give love beautiful. That's what we're talking about.

Wil Fisher  44:46  
Yeah. That's what, yeah, beautiful, yeah. What was coming through for me is this opportunity to take 100% responsibility for all our relations, and that in doing so, we have. We are more empowered to be in our relationships with everything right, with people, with the world, with every aspect of the world. When we are taking that full responsibility, we are empowered to create the relationship that we desire. We're empowered to create a relationship that is more playful, that is more joyful and and that's the kinds of relationships that I want. And the other thing that was coming through when you were pushing back around this word work, which I really appreciate, and I I am a champion of play. I love play. I love bringing play. It's my favorite, most joyful energy that I that I love, to hold and to invite, and the other, the other energy that was coming through, or the other invitation, is this energy of surrender, right, that? So sometimes it's about like we get into this, or folks, fan, get into this mindset of, I have to push, I have to try to work on myself. And it's the truth is, is that, well, the truth is, is that the truth is where we're moving towards, what we're wanting to move towards, and we don't kind of chip away to get to the truth. We surrender into the truth. The truth is always here. It's already there.

Wolf  46:17  
So I love this word surrender. To me. It means relax,

Wil Fisher  46:23  
yeah, relax, yeah.

Wolf  46:26  
Come into your company, into your comfort zone inside, come into that, come into that, into that sacred place inside, right oh, you know, my husband's butting up against me right now. Oh, okay, relax. This is providing an opportunity. Some people say challenge. This is providing an opportunity for me to come that much more into my center, and, you know, into my ability to express really honestly and clearly what is in my heart, in my desire, in my intention. You know, this is an this is an opportunity. And so you know any relationship. You know our elders are our peers, our all our relationships, you know, there's, there's, there's going to be challenges that arise. But I always see these things as opportunities to grow. And you know, I don't mind the word challenge, because we don't, we don't, we don't evolve without that. So, you know, this is another part of you know what you were saying around. You know, work. You know, our words have so much power, and if we just reframe the word a little bit, it opens up doors of possibility. I've talked to people that, for some people, the word work is, is, is? They love it, sure, and they want, you know they they like that. And then, and okay, if it works for you, then hallelujah. I'm just sharing what was shared with me by some of my elders, and as I applied it to my life, experimented with it as I was willing to to experiment with because my also one of the things my elders would always say, don't, don't, look to me, as you know, holding the truth. I'm sharing some teachings, and if you apply them, experiment to see if they work for you. Yeah,

Wil Fisher  48:52  
yeah. And, and I am present to that being the theme of this conversation of us sharing some truths and putting them out there for folks to get to engage with and potentially experiment with as well.

Wolf  49:13  
I, I, I have been so blessed in this life. Love my life. I've been so blessed to have some beautiful things shared with me. I gotta turn this off. Okay,

Wil Fisher  49:29  
that's a lot of affirmations in this technical sound, yes, yes, yes,

Wolf  49:38  
blessings of people sharing some of these teachings and some of these wisdoms and and and experimenting with them and applying them to my life and seeing, you know, how they how they lift me or or challenge me, or, you know. What they do and and I've always known that these things, they don't belong to me. They're not mine. It's not mine to hold. It's mine to to pass on and share and give. And I feel that's why, a big part of the reason why Spirit led me in the places in the directions that Spirit led me and and I'm really grateful how this conversation has moved here today. Wow, so beautiful. Thank you.

Wil Fisher  50:41  
Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Any final words? Invitations? Anything else?

Wolf  50:54  
Yeah, just ask you to you. Who's ever listening right now you know to place both your feet on the ground, if you're sitting, you know, in a chair, on the couch, or if you're sitting on the floor, hallelujah, but, but. But, if you're not sitting on the floor, place your both feet flat on the ground. Lay your palms open toward the sky on your lap, relax your shoulders, take some big, deep breaths into your belly. And maybe we should have done this at the beginning. You know of this conversation, but take in. Take in what you are feeling, what you have been, what feelings this conversation has inspired in you. Take it in right now, to your belly, to your heart, and let it swim around and see you know how it feels. Explore. You know what feelings this, these words that have been shared here. This spirit, what it brings up for you, has brought up for you, is bringing up for you.

And if there's one thing, any one thing that that this, that I pray that this conversation has, has and does and wil bring up for you is, you know, inspiration for you to to free yourself more and love is the only thing that can do that, to let go of any part of you that feels, you know, there's a fight or or a battle. Oftentimes those those feelings come from some part of us that is afraid, you know, afraid of that we're not respected, that we're not loved, and ultimately, it's really, you know, that love that we're crying for. So let go of that fear and just love a whole matak we Austin,

Wil Fisher  53:17  
thank you so much, so beautiful. Thank you so much. Love to you.

Wolf  53:24  
That was awesome. Thank you. Wow, let's do it again. Absolutely.

Wil Fisher  53:29  
Thank you so much for listening. Beloveds. It was so wonderful to be with you all and to share that conversation. If you want to connect with me, go to the show notes and find my website. Also, I want to let you know that on January 23 I'm hosting another awakened hearts retreat that's going to happen in Joshua Tree. And if you want to hear more about that, go to the show notes and we can chat. So much love to you all. Oh my god, as beloveds, what a joy it was to be with you today. Let's hang out again soon. Okay? And if you can think of a friend who would benefit from hearing this, we share it with them, sending so much love and light to you today and every day until next time. Peace.