(Re)Claiming our Weirdness with Dr. Michael R. Smith

Today we've got Dr. Michael R. Smith who has helped connect individuals with their Divine potential for over 20 years. As a doctoral trained counselor, spiritual medium, and healing practitioner of indigenous ceremony, Michael's great joy is to serve as a spiritual guide for those at all levels of awakening. In addition to his annual northern California redwood and ocean retreat, he offers intuition development classes & The Empath Sanctuary community.

In this episode, we kick things with Michael telling us how claiming the word “weird” as a badge of honor changed his life and how it can be a gift for all of us. 

From there, we explore the joy of surrendering control and letting the universe surprise us. We both vibe out on the approach of embracing the unpredictable and finding playfulness in the process. 

Next, we dive into some deeper waters, talking about Michael’s work with the Lakota tribe and his experiences as a medium. He shares how his connection to spirit guides and loved ones on the other side has transformed his life—and how it can transform yours, too.

One of my favorite parts of the conversation is when we dig into the idea queerness as a gift. Michael gets real about turning off parts of his true self to stay safe in the past and the liberating journey of living authentically. Michael also shares ideas for connecting to our spiritual gifts including the practice of semen retention which inspires me to share my story of a 3 month long semen retention practice and the climax that took place at the end of it.. 

Michael then shares about his Empath Connection community, which helps empaths like him navigate the world with self-love and strong boundaries. And he offers some tips on how you can do that too. 

Before we wrap, Michael shares a beautiful story about how memories can be messages from spirit, and he leaves us with a powerful reminder to connect with nature and the cosmic energy all around us.

So, grab your cosmic lollipop—and settle in for a conversation that will leave you inspired, uplifted, and maybe even a little weird (in the best way possible).

Check out my upcoming retreat, Awakened Hearts, January 23 - 26th in Joshua Tree here- https://www.wil-fullyliving.com/events

Check out Michael's work here- https://www.empathconnection.com/

Transcript

Wil Fisher  0:00  
Hello, Michael, welcome to queerly Beloved. 

Michael  0:05  
Oh my god it's so good to be here. Wil, to connect with you and the listeners. We're in for a fun, juicy conversation today.

Wil Fisher  0:11  
Yes, juicy is one of my favorite descriptors for these conversations. I'm glad you're already calling that in. Yeah, so glad we're doing this. So I'm gonna start off with my famous first question, which is, Who are you, Michael, but tell me by describing the perfect drag avatar that describes that, that embodies that, and it's really like who you are in this moment, you know, on this day in this part of your life, yeah, but use the drag avatar, whatever the

Michael  0:43  
oh gosh, okay, so cuckoo bananas, half cuckoo bananas and half my actual drag name, the one and only time that I did drag was dusty Arroyo. And she's a little bit messy, you know, she's got that. She spills all over herself. She's got dust on her dress, and, you know, the wig is little off center, and she's totally fine with that, because she kind of likes that and and the cuckoo bananas part of her is, hey, let's do this. We understand that life is messy. Life is meant to be embraced. And especially the word we're crazy is a word that I really embrace, and I feel that as us, as gay men, weird goes along with that. We were told that we were different. We were told that we were weird as boys and young men, we felt like outcasts. So hey, I know I'm reclaiming that part of myself, that weird, unusual, different part of myself. And why? How can we all reclaim that

Wil Fisher  1:46  
love, that yes, and for me, that piece of the word queer, you know, that means different and unique and outside of the norm. Like, I love that aspect of it too. And so I love that invitation to claim our crazy claim, are weird claim, our gift of outsiderness, you know, there's, there's a gift in there, and that, that avatar you just mentioned, definitely feels like a champion for all those things. They're also kind of a witchy vibe when you share, I kind of, I saw, like a disheveled witch, but like, you know, just like, like, casting these fabulous spells, but very, just like rah, rah,

Michael  2:25  
that's her and me in a nice like, the messier, the better. I mean, I have a lot of Sagittarius energy in me, which is to me, in my understanding of what that means, is very embracing the unpredictable. I most people in the muggle world, I'm kind of a Harry Potter fan, and so it, and I would say most humans, that there is a part of all of us that really likes linearity, predictability. We want to know what's coming, and my alter ego, the part of me that is the Two Spirit, the witchy, and I claim that word Two Spirit, as the indigenous do, even though I'm not indigenous by blood, I am by training and by my soul. I like to be surprised. I tell the universe, I tell spirit. I'm like, Hey, surprise me today, make me laugh at myself. And that is the persona to me when I'm in my true power. And I think for that goes for all of us, when we can really be let go and surrender the control to know what's coming next? That's where all the magic and the witchy glitter and and glitter and shimmer.

Wil Fisher  3:45  
Oh, I love that so much. And that just gave me goosebumps to hear that invitation for the universe to surprise me. I feel like there is such a trend for manifestation, for manifestating, manifesting to be so specific and direct and like commanding the universe, like I want this, and I want it at this time, and I want it in this way, and give it to me now, universe, give it to me now, spirit, you know? And, yeah, I understand that there is some value and specificity and in being, you know, I get it, but it does cut us off from this possibility of surprise and surrender, and in some ways, creates this idea that we know better than what spirit knows, right, like we know what's better for us than what spirit knows. So I love that reframe in asking the universe to surprise me. Yeah,

Michael  4:37  
we don't have a clue. I mean, I in all of my classes with Empath connection. In the empath sanctuary, I always it's all about play. It's all about being surprised. And I willingly affirm, as my spiritual mentor did, he was a Heyoka Shaman from Canada. And Heyoka is a Lakota word. It just simply means a sacred clown, something, ha. Things backwards, that's more as well. And I like I affirm, hey, because of my pea brain, my divine authority guides me, not the pea brain, my divine authority guides me. And I hear that that you have that same appreciation in your energy, in what you just shared as well. And I hope that the listeners are asking themselves, you know, how can I surrender my pea brains idea of what should be and accept what is and what will be when I surrender to and I use this phrase a lot in my work, divine Wil, yes, we have, do we not parents? Our true, loving parents are the are our spirit guides, our ancestors, who have crossed over and are still with us. They haven't left. They're here in our hearts, and they're still helping us in my understanding, that's what our loved ones do, and even the ones that we had karma with here on Earth, people that we had trouble with, as a medium, I get those spirits coming in, and I can I see, thankfully, I give, I get that gift every time I do a mediumship session, to be able to see, to see from the perspective of the other side, that once we transition, they have just as much as need as we do, to help clear karma. And they often will take the role those people that we had trouble with, maybe a parent that rejected us for being queer. They become our biggest champion once they lose in their bodies.

Wil Fisher  6:53  
They're not like on the other side, trying to seek revenge or something. They're there to actually continue to support us, but in a way that they couldn't during their time in their earthly bodies, because they weren't able to see the the clearer truth of what is. And now that they have crossed over, they've got this divine opportunity to support us in a in a really profound and impactful way, and when we are able to receive that, that comes from this place of surrender that comes from this invitation to be surprised. It's when we are so stuck in, like you said, our P brain minds, and we think we know best, and we think we know exactly how it's supposed to go, that we cut ourselves off from that divine aid, from that that support from the other side. Yeah, that's so juicy. You

Michael  7:41  
know, it is juicy. And to me, it's a question of as as queer men, queer people and just humans in general. This applies to all of us, and in particularly those of us that identify as queer because we have a little extra we have a little extra gene, se qua a little extra glitter and glimmer, yeah, and we're designed by the universe for that, and it's how would your life change? I mean, the list, those of you that are listening, if you knew, and maybe you already know this, maybe you already have embraced us, and if so wonderful, fantastic, because you're modeling for the others. And this is the following, how would your life change if you knew you were designed? We were designed purposely by the universe to carry balanced masculine, balanced feminine, and to have the portal of our heart. Some people call this a channel from the crown chakra as well, to be open to the magic that comes when we are able to surrender the pea brain and ask for energy, help, guidance, wisdom from our loved ones in spirit, how would your life change if you knew that you were designed to have a clear connection an open portal to the spirit world?

Wil Fisher  9:16  
Wow, yeah, that's deep. And then the other thing that popped up for me is that as an example our queerness as an example of a time in our lives where many of us, I'd say most of us, thought that being queer was a was the opposite of a gift, was something that we didn't want, was something that we wanted to reject, was something that we were angry at the universe for bestowing upon us, right? And so had we been able to have what we thought we wanted, right? I don't want to be gay, I want to be straight. I want to be like everybody else, then we would know not have this gift that of queerness, right? Like if I when I look back at the part of me that was really dreading this, and. And really just praying to have a straight, you know, a straight life. It's, it's, it's sad to me, you know that that was what I thought would be the best path for me, when I'm able to see the joy and the invitation of freedom and love and and yes, and that divine connection too, like there's so many gifts that come with our queerness that I'm so grateful for. And thank God, as I wasn't able to pray it away.

Michael  10:34  
Oh, thank God I feel so similar when I probably a lot of us can relate to this story. You know, when I was 13, I sensed that I was different, and I sensed that it was a threat to be different, and so I turned, like a lot of us do, turned my true persona, Two Spirit persona off to keep myself safe. And I did. I never got bullied because I was damn good about making sure that I was invisible. And it is tragic, and thankfully, it was only really seven, eight years before I really started to flourish. And what strikes me is that we are heroic every act of coming out as queer, especially at this time in history right now where there's a more of a backlash that we're working our way through and dissolving, coming out is An act of heroic. And I when I'm around gay men that are in their 70s and even their 80s that have just come out, I'm like, Oh yeah, yes, right on, because that is totally heroic, is it not?

Wil Fisher  11:57  
Oh yeah, oh yeah. And it's funny. I was just speaking with someone an hour ago who came out at 48 and often with folks who come out later in life, there is a lot of regret that they live with, you know, oh, man, all those years. And the truth is, is that they have saved themselves so many years that they are now able to live in their truth, right? And there's countless stories of people who go to their grave, never coming out, right, who go to their grave never tapping into the truth of who they are. I mean, besides queer people, there's a ton of straight people who just never tap into the truth of of who they are, because they're so caught in the game of conforming and of you know, being the person that society expects them to be, so anyone who comes into the truth of who they are and finds the courage to express that at any point during their time on this earthly planet is doing A beautiful blessing to their their karmic path, and getting to enjoy the the fabulous rewards of that. And it's it's unique and extraordinary in some ways.

Michael  13:09  
Yeah, I like equations. I was always very good at math. I recognize a lot of us don't like math dramatized by but have an equation in terms of the journey that we're all on. So what is self love? Is the question, right? How do we love ourselves, warts and all, even more, even more so once we accept that we're gay, and we accept ourselves, and then when we add this, and this is where a lot of us, thankfully, are engaged in the second step of self love, acceptance, plus sharing and expressing ourselves. Words to them all equals self love. So my view self love, there's an extra piece there. It's not just acceptance, it's acceptance plus willingness to dip our toes a little bit outside of our comfort zone, maybe for some of us, and to share. So my question for all of us is, and this is a question that we will be asking for the rest of our lives, how can I share more of myself authentically right now, at this moment in time? What is that answer? I'm curious. What would be the answer for you? How can

Wil Fisher  14:35  
I share it more well, can you the first thing that comes to mind, though, honestly, and this isn't a plug for my retreats, but I know we both hold these retreats, but it just reminds me of the value of retreats, right? Because I work with these people who have gone to years and years and years of therapy where it's just them, and often their computer screen on Zoom, you know, just talking about them. And they're what they're going through. And I have, I think therapy is fabulous and important, but I don't think it gets us that added piece. It helps us get to the place of acceptance, but it doesn't necessarily create the opportunity, the safe space for that shared self expression. And so yeah, what was coming up for me, as you were talking about it, was how valuable the group retreats are for that experience of accepting self and then having a safe space to share that self and to get that special added piece that brings one into more self love. You

Michael  15:32  
know that is so beautiful, what you just said, and I would add that the sharing done in community is priceless. It is gold. And in this era that we're in, we're moving into an energy of Aquarius, the Aquarian Age. And maybe you understand what that is. Maybe you don't. It simply means we're coming together as a community and recognizing our similarities, that we're all one, straight, gay, whatever, we're all one, and we're the community and the connection that comes from community, because we do amplify each other's light. Don't amplify each other's shadow. We in your retreats. In my retreats, I do one here in Northern California, we amplify each other's light and to have our light amplified by a group of six, 810, 1220, however many people that is worth its weight in gold, connection and community are the new currencies, this new age that we're in in Aquarius.

Wil Fisher  16:48  
Oh, yes, yeah, that just gave me goosebumps again. So yeah, so my answer, besides just retreats, is community. Yeah, absolutely. That's what it comes down to, as community and and safe community, community that celebrates us, you know, and it's and it's different. It's like, I can post vulnerably on, you know, the social medias, and, yeah, there's some validation when I get comments and likes and whatever. But it does not equal the same medicine that happens when I share within whatever community it is, whether it's this ecstatic dance community I'm connected to here in San Diego, or my, my business networking community, or my, my, you know, my gay coaches community, like it's, it's really, really a unique medicine that comes from sharing with community that celebrates us. Yeah, thank you.

Michael  17:35  
And I would add also that for many of us, anxiety, the word anxiety, it means many different things for depending on who we are. For some of us, we have, you know, physical anxiety, Heart racing. For some of us, it's overthinking. Whatever anxiety, whatever form might be present in your life, I have found magically melts away when we connect and are witnessed and held authentically by community, by others. Anxiety, in my view, and experience, is largely not 100% largely connected to feeling isolated, to feeling separate, to not having connection to our highest self and not having connection to the medicine that other people bring us. So our question that we're all asking is, how can I connect even more to a, my greatest, most authentic, truest, highest self, whatever word you use, and B more to others. And when we ask that question from a place of humility, the answer is it will magically melt away a lot of our challenges, locks, and including the anxiety that some of us must feel, might feel that we oftentimes maladaptively deal with through addictions, drugs, alcohol, sex, addiction, whatever that it's being witnessed in a place of light and love that allows us to drop the anxiety, drop the addictions, absolutely,

Wil Fisher  19:25  
yeah. I mean, as you're sharing that I'm present to how beneficial it is to our nervous system to feel that sense of connection, that connection to self, that connection to spirit, source, God, whatever you want to call it, that connection to others. It's, it's what was coming through for me is like, it's a feeling of being held. You know, it's like a opportunity to just melt and know that you are, you are held by all this support that's around you, and the nervous system loves that. Right? It's like the nervous system is able to just like, let go and receive, yeah, and

Michael  20:06  
when we receive, we receive our true nature, which is that two spirited nature we were before the influence of unhealthy shadow Christianity, in which we were told, you know, we as queer, we were meant to felt shame. The indigenous lifted us up, rightfully so, as the oracles, the leaders, the priests, if you wil, they don't use that word, but the medicine people in the community, because we've been designed to have a little bit of that extra spiritual juju, a little bit extra wisdom, a little bit extra unconditional love, containing who we are. And we were celebrated back in the day before we were told that we were meant to be shame. We were celebrated and lifted up as the leaders. And so my job, working with gay men is to help you remember who you really fucking are. And I say that with with emphasis, out of love, because who you really are is a divine, brilliant, amazing, being of light. And our only job is to remember that,

Wil Fisher  21:30  
yeah, it's interesting. So many men that I see, gay men, queer men, that go on these the healing path. Inevitably they get to a place where they're like, Oh, I feel like I'm called to be helping others, even like I feel I'm feeling like this is part of who I am, that this connection to spirit, that these gifts are meant to come through, and it's like, yes, it's not just about us healing the shame or the wounds. It's about us getting you to this place of seeing the truth of who you are, which, yes, as queer folks, I'd say, involves these gifts, these spiritual gifts that, as you mentioned, used to be so clear to the tribes, to the rest of the community, and now it's our job to, like bring that back out of the shadow,

Michael  22:21  
to bring it back out of the shadow and model it for others. And yes, once we get to that place of self acceptance, then yeah, really go to town and change the world, so to speak, simply by being our authentic self. So let me tell you a funny story. Yes, please. I'm there's I always tell people, like there's no such thing as TMI with me like I'm very open. I'm very honest about my flaws, my light, my cuckooness, all of this. So I tell my parents what I do. I'm a channel for the Christ consciousness. Now when I say that, I don't mean Jesus, I mean the divine, and my understanding of what the Divine is is unconditional love, that you cannot fuck up, you cannot do it wrong. You can kill a million people, and you'll still be on the other side, granted, you'll have some lessons to learn over there to bring you up, but you absolutely cannot do anything wrong, and you are not judged by the dying. We are never judged by the Divine. We only judge ourselves. So I tell this to my parents, and I tell them, you know, my mom asked, so what is it that you do again? And over the years, I just keep reinforcing, yes, I'm a channel. I work with spirit. I'm a medium. I talk to dead people, you know, I hang out with my community down in San Diego, you know, once or twice a year. In Sedona, a couple of times a year up here in where I live, in Northern California, Marin County. And so over the years, I have just told them more and more about what I do. And my parents are both Christian, and initially they were very, very skeptical about spirit, not understanding it still kind of tethered to their Bible based Christianity, well over the years since I have told them four years ago, when the pandemic started, that I'm actually a channel for the Christ consciousness, that energy of that specific avatar, and that's the energy I work with in my sessions. My dad and mom are both like, Oh, what did you learn? What did you What can tell me about what you learned? Tell me about what you're up to. And so they're not only are they more inquisitive because of my openness, they told me a hilarious story the other day, they're like, my dad was like, I was on a phone call with them, and he calls my mom. Babes, he's like, babes, let's you think we should tell Michael about how he was conceived. And I was like, This is good. They told me a hilarious story. My dad was in a full body cast while I was conceived. We had laughter. We had. Wow. And I was like, Thank you for modeling openness, transparency, authenticity and truth, because it is medicine for me and it's medicine for all of us. So I that is the kind of authenticity and truth that I think we're all moving into.

Wil Fisher  25:20  
Oh my gosh, I love that story so much. And it's one of those pieces that, yeah, it's like, I love the path of self discovery, and I love finding out these pieces of myself, whatever they might be, that might give me just a little new hint into how I am and why I am and who I am, right? And so I don't know if there's some blue or some hint around your your karmic path, your unique expression of consciousness that is hidden or that is implicit within your dad, being in a full body cast when you are conceived, I feel like there's probably some magic there. You know, that's

Michael  26:00  
and it was the magic, yes, and it brought us both closer. I love that. Now, ever since that, that was a couple months ago, they've just been both very, very honest. And what I take from that is the more honest that I am with others. It allows us, it allows others to be unleashed and for all of us, the more honest that we can be with these types of conversations that you have on your podcast today. Oh, this is how we give permission to all of us, especially to gay men and queer people to be feel free to have that permission slip, because really that's all that we need, is we just need that permission slip. And the permission slip can get activated by hearing a story from me, you wil or whoever, when it really comes down to it, that permission slip must be a decision that often involves courage on our part. So because that safety is an inside job, it's not an external job, it's an inside job, and we must make that decision, okay, I'm going to be I'm going to be honest, I'm going to tell the truth here, yeah, with the risk knowing that I may be judged, yes, yes. And once we can make that declaration, I'm okay with being judged. Guess what happens to the judgment? We don't get judged anymore. We don't attract people that will judge us. Yeah, our lives, because it's the universe always mirrors our internal state. And if we feel safe enough internally to be okay and to share all of us, then we don't attract judgment,

Wil Fisher  27:44  
and if judgment happens, it doesn't impact us, because we are in that direct relationship with truth. So you started mentioning your mediumship, and I'd love for you to share with the listeners a little bit more about what that means, and maybe a little bit about how you came into that gift, how you came to discover that that was something that you are capable of and wanting to offer? Yeah,

Michael  28:06  
so I was 17 years old, and I had my I was laying down, on on, on taking a nap on my sister's bed, and I was just, you know, I spent a lot of time in my sister's room, and all of a sudden I was transported into this other realm where I just knew I felt like I was receiving and knowing that my aunt was going to be pregnant and she was considered infertile. I went and told my mom immediately, and the next day, my aunt called and said she was pregnant with the baby boy, just like I had seen that was mine. Belonged to me. It was like, I must figure out. How did this happen? So it it set me on a path to psychology, and then counseling, and then ultimately working with Lakota tribes in 2003 and I've been doing that for the last 20 years or so. And I just have an endless curiosity. And so I throughout my life, like a lot of us, I just keep asking the spirit world like, Okay, show me more. I want to know a little bit without being traumatized seeing too much, because that has happened to some of us, including myself, where I did see too much and it felt traumatizing. But my question is, show me a little bit more. And asking that question throughout my life, I've gotten that glimpse, and in the last two to three years, is when the mediumship has been more of a professional focus. It was usually in the background. So when I do sessions, I contact your my clients, higher selves, soul, spirit guides and spirit team. And then I I'm clear audience. If I hear words, I hear them speak in sentences. Can hear spirits on the other side speaking to me and um. By, it takes a it's a huge commitment on my part, because there are certain things that I can't do when I when I work, I pledge my I tell people, I'm married to the Divine, and I gotta keep my vibration high. By, I love Doritos. I can't eat Doritos. I love pizza. I can't eat pizza. Gotta keep the vibration high. Semen retention often, sometimes as well, too, is an under utilized way to build our spiritual energy. So if you're someone who has been wanting to have psychic experiences, invite you to explore some of my classes and and it also just explore the whole concept of like semen retention as a way pledging to hold that in for a week, two weeks, I can tell you that you will have a lot of extra energy, and often you will have psychic experiences As a result of that, especially if that's your intention indeed. So, so that is a very long winded answer.

Wil Fisher  31:09  
Well, I love that you went into that. Yeah, that's a fun little invitation. The semen retention has been a practice that I go in and out of. I often like to use the cycles of the moon. So I'll, you know, start at a new moon, and then, you know, release at a full moon. Over, over, the pandemic. I, I did a three month semen retention. Oh my gosh, wow. Pretty phenomenal. Yeah, pretty wild. What did you experience? Like you mentioned, a lot of energy, a lot of creative energy, a lot of energy of just expression, a lot of expressive energy, and then the the results. So the sort of final moment was just a very, very spiritual experience of connecting to the oneness of all it was. It happened at the ocean, at a place where the waves like crash up against the cliffs. And it was very, very amazing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, on a full moon, yeah, yeah. It was really Wil, yeah, no. So I love, I love that as a as a very practical way to, yeah, to increase your energy, increase your vibration and and it does require some, some, I'd say devotion, instead of discipline. It's like devotion. It's like, I'm, I'm devoting myself to this. And so this is my intention, and I'm going to do that. Yeah and sorry, go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. No,

Michael  32:43  
I was just gonna say that I love that word. Thank you for bringing that energy into the conversation. Devotion. Yeah, more devoted. How can we a corollary word that's similar is Yeah, committed, yeah, be more devoted. How can we be more committed to elevating our consciousness or our vibration. Same thing. I love that,

Wil Fisher  33:07  
yeah. It feels more like, yeah, thanks, yeah. From from discipline to devotion, it feels like a a choice, like a a more like a proactive, like, I'm choosing this, instead of like, I'm restricted. You know, it's like, I'm gonna, like, choose to devote. I'm gonna like, this is this is my, my, my, yeah, my sovereign choice. Yeah. So you mentioned you've worked with the Lakota tribe for 20 plus years. Was that I'm curious, if you want to share anything about that, that's I'm, you know, I love Native American practices. And, yeah, I'd love to hear anything

Michael  33:45  
I wrote about my early journey, first few years in my book. It's called the complete Empath toolkit. It's available in paperback. And so I hung out with shaman name. We called him bro. No, I never knew his full name. We just called him bro, and he's like, okay, bro. And one day, you know, as we all often did, he told me things about my life that later came true. And one of the things that he said is, it's like, bro, you're gonna live to be 140 and I was like, whatever, and he's like, I'm serious. Ever since that time, I believed, because he instilled that thought in my head that I will live to be 140 I'm taking care of myself. I can see it happen. The other thing that he told me when I pledged this was the moment where everything changed. I was a mess. I was suicidal in 2003 I didn't want to be in the planet. I thought, like a lot of us do, erroneously, by the way, that I was my true home was in the spirit world. And those of us that are have had past lives where we were priests or shamans or medicine people like. Myself, you might be relating to that like, Oh, I just feel so natural to be in the world of spirit. Well, what he told me changed my life. He's like, are you ready to commit? Use that word, and I'm like, well, commit to what? And then he told me, he's like, you're being initiated. This is the moment we are pledging your life to the Divine, to the people, as he as he said. And I said, Okay, I can do that. And so one of the things he mentioned, and I thought this, I didn't understand what at the time, what this meant? He said, You will always have a horse. And I was like, what does that mean? He wouldn't tell me. He was, Heyoka. He's like, he didn't give me the answer. He, like a lot of good spiritual teachers, know that the wisdom is inside me, and I needed to take the journey, rather than have him tell me what that meant. Over time, I can see that what he meant now is that when we and this goes for everyone, this is not just medicine people or healing practitioners. It's all of us when we pledge and raise our hands and say, I want to do a little extra. I want to commit to my growth, however that may manifest. Maybe it's taking a class. Maybe it's signing up for your retreat. Wil whatever it is when we raise our hands and say, I'm going to go the extra mile, what he meant by you'll always have a horse is you're always going to have a vehicle to abundance, and you will receive abundance, is what that horse represents. You will always have abundance. You will always have a car. You will always have a vehicle to take you to your next step. It's an important piece of the law of attraction and manifesting that we talk about in our Empath sanctuary community, that when we pledge to do a little bit extra and I help people define what that is for them, then guess what happens in return. Guess it's like a bartering co created relationship. We say, Okay, I'm going to do a little extra. You're going to get your version of what a horse is for you. Maybe, yes, relationship, Soul level, friendships, better physical health, more money, whatever it

Wil Fisher  37:36  
is, the blessings come in. The blessings come reigning in. I love that. Yeah, I love that. I love I love it as a horse, because it's like the horse helps you on the path. You could walk carrying all your stuff, but the horse is just the perfect thing to help the a perfect ally to help us move on our path in a good way. Yeah?

Michael  37:57  
So beautiful. Yes. Thank you for asking that question. Yeah, thanks

Wil Fisher  38:03  
for sharing. And so you just mentioned the empath community. I'd love you to share. I don't think I've actually had anyone speak at all on this podcast about empaths in general. So if you could share with listeners how one might identify if they're curious, if they are an empath. What that means? You know, just to start and then share more about your community.

Michael  38:24  
All right, fantastic question. Thank you for asking it. Because most gay men, queer men, however you identify, you are very likely an empath. You're designed to be extra sensitive. And this is what an empath is, a person who mirrors whatever energy is around you, including mirroring, perceiving, noticing and feeling, the energy, emotional energy of other people in your own experience. So if you walk into a room and ever had the experience of just intuitively sensing, like what happened in this room? People are a little tense here, and maybe your heart is beating a little faster, and you're wondering, well, why the hell is my heart beating faster? That's the one of the very common experiences of an empath. The other is looking someone into their eyes and either feeling elevated or drained. If the other person is drained. An Empath wil mirror that because that's what we do. We merge very easily with other people, and we feel other people in our bodies, in our consciousnesses. We mistakenly believe that because we can feel another person's shadow or wounds or even physical or emotional pain, we think that that's us. So the journey of an empath is to and what I do is I help people discern what's yours, what's not yours, and how, more importantly, how can you stay centered in your own juicy and. Energy and not be drained, overwhelmed, tired, fatigued, exhausted, because you're over stimulated by feeling other people to a degree that where it feels like it's too

Wil Fisher  40:14  
much. Yeah, beautiful. And yeah, go ahead. Well, I was

Michael  40:19  
just gonna say, and my community is called Empath connection. Yeah, it's a fairly large online community, and we do I've got, like, a gazillion classes. It's nine different classes that I run throughout the year. Just check out Empath connection.com and make sure you sign up from a mailing list. I send out weekly inspirational

Wil Fisher  40:42  
messages, nice. I love that like that's such a great resource for folks to help them decipher if they if they are an empath, and if so, how can they be in relationship with that part of themselves in a good way? And so you mentioned that there are strategies or tools for protecting one's energy. I know you know that it'd be of service to folks to do one of the courses, but any quick cliff notes on that what is helpful for people learn

Michael  41:12  
to say no, because empaths and in particular, queer impasse. Can be people pleasers. Oh yeah,

Wil Fisher  41:23  
I'm in recovery, for sure. Are you? Oh yeah, for sure.

Michael  41:26  
I've feel like I have recovered, and I know myself very well. I set my I'm very good about my boundaries. And that is the divine b word really is boundaries. So that's the Cliff Notes. There is feeling tired or drained or exhausted, it's very likely because you've been spreading yourself too thin and just simply saying yes to external demands or asks on your time in the moment, we say no, everything changes, and then that's how we feel. More of our energy and disengage say no out of love and yes to ourselves.

Wil Fisher  42:05  
I love that. It's funny. It just sparked a memory of kid or sparks or mutual friend for the gay coaches conference. He he had witnessed you set a boundary in a really beautiful way, and told you about that. Yeah, he brought it up. He was just like I was so impressed with Michael, and I was like, oh yeah. And that, actually, that piece of the conversation reminded me, I was like, oh, I need to have my podcast. So I love that, that someone

Michael  42:30  
told me, they said I was part of the leadership team in Easton Mountain, which you used to be the man director of, and so was part of the faculty, and someone on our team had said, Would you like to would you like me to tell you about the four directions? I'm like, No. And then he said, Well, you're likely going to get criticized for that. And I said, No, I am not going to get criticized. I am not calling this in those were the exact words I remember the moment. And it was stopping it right then and there, and it was speechless. And I went on my merry way. And like the effect that it had on the people around me, I could it was like a bomb dropping, but a good bomb, because other people told me I was really impressed by that, and that's the kind of firm energy when we connect intentionally to nature and to the Divine through nature and quiet our minds. Then we don't get confused and mixed signals, and we don't say yes when we really mean no, say no when we're meant to say no and we mean it. And yeah, it's, it's, it's knowing ourselves comes first, and then that allows us the confidence yes and say no. I mean to say

Wil Fisher  43:56  
no and be and be firm in our No. And knowing ourselves peace feels so important because it's and correct me if I'm projecting this, but it's knowing that you don't have a malicious or negative intention when you're placing that no, you're not trying to say, No, you're a terrible person. How dare you? You know it's like it has nothing to do with the other person. It's just being securing yourself

Michael  44:20  
exactly, and it's done out of love, yes, for all involved, not just myself. When I say no, it, it. It helps everyone. When I really when I may know, and I say no, when I'm aligned with my truth, it helps me, and it helps the other person or the other party as well, so that there's not unclear or mixed messages, which often is the case in dating relationships, in particular, especially in the early stages of dating, yes,

Wil Fisher  44:53  
yes, thank you. So it's funny that pop that memory popped into my head and I'm reminded that you. Mentioned something in my my notes from you about memories, and this probably doesn't apply to that random memory, but memories being these messages from spirit, anything you want to share around the magic of memories.

Michael  45:15  
Okay, think of a memory in this I'm speaking to the All right. Now, yes, yeah, yeah. Think of a time it's likely happened in the last few days, where the last week recently, where a random memory has popped into your head and you gave it no you didn't pay any attention to it. Well, here's a short story which will illuminate why memories are messengers. So a few days ago, I was I had this memory pop in, just out of nowhere, of me being at St John's University as an 18 year old freshman, and someone had asked me on the very first day that I was there, I was feeling very unsafe. I'm like, What the hell's going on? They asked me, Would you like to go to this party? And I got very scared, and I said, No. And then I was that. So fast forward to now, a few days ago. I told the divine, I'm like, this, this memory just popped up. And so I told the my spirit guys, I'm like, Hey, I regret that. I wish I would have said yes. And so then what happened? The very next morning, I was presented with a invitation, an important one, and I was trying to make a decision, and my initial reaction was, No, I'm not going to do this. I don't want to take that risk. Guess what happened? That memory of being at St John's and being invited that party? It just my Spirit Guides, and this is what they do to all of us. They send us that memory for a reason. So I didn't create this memory. It came to me. I received it as a reminder. Hey, Michael, you told us that you regretted this. Now sending you this memory so you can choose. Do you really want to say no? As soon as I got that memory, I knew what my guides were trying to do. They were inviting me to make a different choice and say yes to this invitation, which I did, yeah, and I'm like, thank God, because now I will not if I had said no to this current invitation, I would have regretted

Wil Fisher  47:29  
it. Amazing. Oh, I love that so much. I love that because it's true that these things that happen in our lives, they are always full of lessons, so many lessons. There's so many lessons and everything that happens. And so there's a lot of lessons to keep track of, right? And so when these memories pop up, they can bring top of mind a lesson that might be important for you to have top of mind. And yeah, what a beautiful invitation for folks to bring some more attention and awareness to those moments and utilize them. That's beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, I'm aware that it's about time to wrap up. I also want to say I because we jumped so straight into the conversation, because it was juicy from the start, I never shared my drag persona, which I would say is, is, I would say today is, like, I feel, what did you say the the sacred clown? What is the name for that? Again? Hey, okay, yeah, there's something I'm feeling into, like a clown, a little bit of clown energy, definitely, like, bright colors and just like, like, I don't know, I'm seeing myself with a lollipop for some reason. And I'm just like, it's like, enjoying the sweetness of this lollipop as I hang out with my, my disheveled, you know, freeze crazy, cuckoo bananas, witch friend, just like two pals, like talking spirit, talking, woo, woo, and licking my lollipop. That's what

Michael  48:55  
I love, that yes, and that's what that has felt like for me to like Yes. It feels very much like that, yes, yeah,

Wil Fisher  49:02  
yeah. Thank you for all of this and yeah, any, if any, final messages that you feel called to share with listeners. This has been such a delight, such a delightful lollipop Convo.

Michael  49:16  
The only thing that comes to mind is because of the complexity of modern life. We all have responsibilities, families. Take a moment tonight, go outside before you go to bed and just look up at the sky. Look at the natural surroundings around you. In particular, the stars, if you can see them, and just breathe that energy of the cosmic star dust into your lungs intentionally, and take that with you into the dream state, into your bedtime

Wil Fisher  49:57  
Yes. Yes, yes. What a beautiful. Wil invitation, thank you so much. Michael, this has been a total joy.

Michael  50:03  
Thank you. Wil