The Sacred Stretch of Waiting

What do you do when your heart longs for something and it just hasn’t arrived yet?

In this episode of Queerly Beloved, I share a personal story about calling in my romantic partner and the long, sometimes painful stretch of waiting it took before he appeared. Along the way, I discovered that the “in-between” is not wasted time, it’s a crucible, a sacred space where we are stretched, refined, and prepared to fully receive what we desire.

We’ll explore:
 ✨ The hardest part of holding the tension between desire and arrival.
 ✨ The spiritual practices that can reframe waiting and make it sacred.
 ✨ The surprising gifts that come from this sometimes uncomforatable process.

Whether you’re longing for a romantic partnership, a new job, money, a new home, or whatever it is that you don't have and you deeplydesire, this episode is here to remind you that the waiting is can be made more tolerable and that it brings with it gifts of expansion and growth. 

If this conversation resonates, please subscribe, rate, and share it with someone who could use encouragement right now. 

And if you’d like deeper support navigating your own waiting season, I’d love to connect with you through and share about the life coaching support and personal retreats I offer. Learn more at www.wil-fullyliving.com

Transcript

  
Queerly beloveds, we are gathered here today for some juicy conversations about all things spiritually, queer and queerly spiritual. I'm Sylvia. Wil gather rainbow, a spiritual life coach, retreat host with the most and a drag queen, and I'll be chatting with the most amazing folks or simply sharing some wisdom on my own. If you like what I'm serving, please remember to subscribe so we can keep hanging out. All right, let's get super woo together in this spiritual AF, queer AF, cosmic container, and blast off.

Hello, beloveds, and welcome back to another episode of queerly beloved in today's solo podcast episode, we're diving into it, the sacred stretch, that space between desiring something and actually having it when we're working towards what we want, but also needing to wait and trust in divine timing. I'll be sharing a personal story about my own longing. I'll point out what I see as some of the hardest parts of this in between time. I'll also share the tools that have helped me get through this kind of process, and perhaps most importantly, I'll discuss the beautiful gifts that can come from the sacred stretch of waiting. And if this podcast supports you, please take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, maybe share it with a friend, especially a friend who might be going through this kind of process. It means so much to me, and it helps this message reach those who might need it. So let's get into it. You know, I've definitely been in that space of longing, really, really longing for something that felt like it was just never going to arrive, even though I wanted it so bad for me, one of the clearest and most recent example was calling in my romantic partner. It felt like it was taking forever. I believed I had done the work that I was aligned, that my vibration was right, and that I was really ready to attract him, and yet nothing. And I'd look at my friends who were partnered, and I'd think, why them and not me? And then I'd get really close sometimes, like I'd be dating someone who seemed really promising, and think, Oh, I've found him. And get all relieved, and then it wouldn't work out for one reason or another, and I'd find myself back at square one. I remember after one unexpected breakup, one of those square one moments, I was walking back to my place after the breakup happened, and I passed by the beach and decided to go down to the ocean. And it was nighttime, and the moon was lighting up the crashing white water as the waves were hitting the beach, and I just, I remember just collapsing onto the sand, and I was like sobbing, and I was pleading with God, like, why can't I have this? Why can't I find my love? Like, what is the deal, God? Why is it taking so long? And I was just like, so angry at this process, and resentful of it, so angry at God, in a way, and so tired of being lonely. And it just felt so painful. I was so exhausted from trying to be hopeful and then being disappointed again and again. And yet, even after that kind of drama moment, I chose to stay the course, and I kept coming back to Faith, faith that this could happen for me, that if partnership was in my greatest and highest good, which I believed it was because I desired it so deeply, and why would I have a desire that wasn't in my greatest highest good, then it would come, and it would come in divine timing. I trusted that I'd know him when he appeared. I trusted that the waiting wasn't punishment, but that it was just part of the path, and that time, ultimately, it really stretched me. It demanded patience, and so it helped me cultivate more patience. It taught me how to actually love being single, and how to let go of the tight grasping and attachment that points I had to finding a boyfriend, and instead to root into my sovereignty and the joy that I found in that sovereignty, while also remaining excited about being in partnership, and I really just held the vision of that partnership, and I called my partner in with rituals and prayers and by following intuitive nudges. And finally, after what felt like a lifetime of loneliness and longing, a series of following intuitive hits occurred. And. Then brilliant, miraculous synchronicities occurred, and suddenly he appeared, and I did feel like I recognized him in that moment. It was pretty stunning. One of these days, I'll do a whole episode about that whole process, but know that it was epic. Today, we're talking about the weight, though, that uncomfortable, often painful, super frustrating wait. Now, although it wasn't obvious at the time, looking back, I can see how the waiting served me, and I want to talk about that now so that waiting, that sacred stretch, it forced me to face the shadow thoughts that whispered things like, I'm not deserving of love, and it guided me to address old wounds that maybe I wouldn't have. One that comes to mind in this example I'm giving was a father wound that I know, in retrospect, would definitely have sabotaged my relationship if it was left unresolved, and if I had met Jamie sooner, but the divine timing of it all gave me space to build my self worth and to become empowered in my singleness, to anchor into self love. And because of that, when Jamie arrived, I was ready for him. And let me tell you, it was worth it, but that's really hard to see when you're in it. Trust me, I know for me, the hardest part of holding that in between space, the gap between the desire and the arrival, is the doubt that creeping voice that says, maybe it's never going to happen. I don't know why I did a creepy voice for it. Or the voice might say, maybe this thing that you want isn't possible, or it's not for you, and when that voice takes over or gets louder than your hopeful voices, it can feel really hopeless. What often happens next is we start making up stories about what the waiting means. We Tell Ourselves things like, Oh, well, I might not be good enough. I might not be worthy. Because if I were, then it would have already happened. He would have shown up, or I would have the dream job, or I would have the thing that I want. So this must mean that I'm not good enough. It must mean I'm not worthy, right? Or things like, if I were more spiritual, more disciplined, more something than I'd have it by now, right? And it's easy to let that not yet, feeling that situation where it hasn't happened yet, turn into a story about lack, or, in some cases, even worse, turn into a story about being unloved or unseen by God, Spirit source, the universe. Some people even feel abandoned by the universe in that space, or punished by God, Spirit source. And when you're in that kind of headspace, trust, which is really important, energy to hold in this tension, trust becomes almost impossible, because how can you trust a universe you believe is ignoring you, and how can you surrender to divine timing if you're convinced spirit has left you behind, and it's not just the stories, it's also the challenge of holding the paradox that is super hard in this process to hold these seemingly oppositional forces together at the same time. So in this context, what I'm talking about is the paradox of being trusting in divine timing and being patient and staying grateful for the present while also being really excited about what's to come and also being unattached to that exact outcome, that's a lot to hold, gratitude, desire, patience, passion, trust, uncertainty. It can feel like being stretched in a way that our human minds and hearts are incapable of, and yet we are more capable of it than what we may think, and having these kinds of experiences is the only way to truly develop that capacity in an embodied way. And as comfortable as that stretch is, it's exactly where the growth lives. A quick little side note, this path of growth is one of the sacred paths I love to walk alongside my coaching clients, helping them see that what feels like stuckness is actually the soil of transformation. So how do we make that in between space more tolerable or even more purposeful? For me, it comes down to spiritual connection and practices that help reframe the waiting. So one thing I found helpful for myself and my clients is recognizing the greater need underneath the desire. See, we often fixate on the form, the money, the relationship, the job, but what we're really craving is the essence. It's a difference between what we want and what we truly. Need so wants sound like a boyfriend, money, a new job, needs sound like love, connection, safety, fulfillment, and sometimes those deeper needs are already being met. We're just not being present to it, or we can find ways to meet them in other forms while we wait for the form we truly desire. For example, if you're longing for romantic love, maybe you're really needing and craving deep connection. So how can you cultivate more connection with yourself, with family, with friends? Or if you're really wanting money and waiting for that money to arrive. Maybe what you're after is security or that feeling of abundance. So the practice becomes, How can I feel secure with what I have right now, and how can I notice and savor the abundance already in my life or with the aligned career? Maybe the root is purpose. So instead of waiting to feel purposeful only when that dream job lands, you can ask, Where can I infuse purpose into the work I'm already doing? Or where can I find other opportunities to feel purposeful and fulfilled, perhaps volunteering or finding ways to serve my community? And let me just be clear, this doesn't mean you're giving up on receiving the form or the want like the the you know, the dream romantic partner, the dream job, the money, you're not letting go of those desires. It just means you're finding ways to have all your needs met while in the process of moving towards that desire, so you can feel whole and complete while on the journey. Another practice to help with this in between space is to spend time each day in the energy of already having what you desire through visualization. And you can do this simply by getting quiet, dropping into your breath, and visualizing having the thing that you want, visualizing yourself with that thing, experiencing it, letting yourself feel the joy,

Wil Fisher  
the gratitude, the relief. And not only does this align your energy with what you're calling in Hello, manifestation, 101, but it also gives the impatient part of you a little momentary relief, like, okay, I can feel it now. Phew, and it becomes more possible. It makes you feel like it's possible so that you can re anchor in that faith and trust. And another anchor for me is prayer. I'll literally ask spirit, source, God, please help me be patient. Help me trust. Fill my mind with thoughts of hope and excitement instead of fears and doubt. That simple act of asking, it softens me, and it reminds me that I'm not doing this alone. Affirmations, they also can reshape the inner dialog So words like I trust in divine timing, what's meant for me wil not pass me by. God has my back. The universe is always conspiring for me, saying these things out loud over and over, or other affirmations that are specific to what you're moving through can literally rewire your neural pathways, making faith and trust your new default. And finally, gratitude, gratitude. I mean, I know everybody says it and talks about it as the most amazing thing, but it really is the great Alchemist. Instead of obsessing over what you don't have, you can turn your attention to what's already here and fill your heart with thanks for the blessings in your life and this gratitude, this energy, it nourishes your faith, it grounds you in the present and it reminds you that you're already supported and will continue to be Now. These practices don't erase the waiting. They don't make what feels very uncomfortable sometimes or painful even go away, but they can make this process sacred. They can transform the waiting into a time of growth, connection and preparation, so that when the desire finally lands, you're not just ready to receive it. You're ready to, like really thrive with it. These are the kinds of practices I weave into my retreats and my one on one, coaching work, supporting people to transform the waiting into sacred ground. And I hope that these notes can help you do the same. Now, here's the other beautiful thing, as uncomfortable it is as it is that in between space holds so many gifts if we choose to not give up or settle for less than what we desire. So now I want to talk less about the practical tips for how to move through this uncomfortable space, but just to talk about the gifts that we get to receive. So I've seen this in my own life. I've witnessed it again and again and again with my clients that I've supported through this process, that when you hold the tension of desire with faith, patience, openness, that treasures emerge, treasures of personal development and growth and spiritual connection, the first gift is a stronger sense of your own worthiness the way. Waiting teaches you that your value isn't determined by what you have or don't have. It's inherent. It's in your bones. If you can keep coming back to that truth, it can help you build a deeper trust in yourself, trust that you can take good care of yourself, that you can pursue the longings of your heart and that you won't abandon yourself along the way when things get tough, the waiting can also build your trust in God and spirit in the universe, and even more than that, it can deepen your relationship with the divine. When you're in that liminal space, sometimes your only choice is to lean into prayer and to surrender into dialog with something bigger than yourself. Your belief in those things can get tested, like my dramatic moment on the beach, but in that moment, for example, it created a louder dialog between me and God as I was sobbing and yelling, right? And it can do the same for you. It can really create that connection and communication between you and source in a good way. This process also stretches your patience. It helps grow your gratitude. It can strengthen your resilience. It can give you the courage to keep going after what you want. Help you cultivate that courage. It can also help you expand your capacity to surrender. You learn that it's okay to not have control all the time that it's okay to be uncomfortable when that discomfort is in service of your highest good, and in that discomfort, you can also receive a lot of clarity. You can realize more about what you truly desire and develop more awareness of who you are, and because you've walked that road yourself, you may also develop more empathy for others who are still in the waiting. So once you do receive what you're meant to receive, you will notice other people who are waiting, who are going through this process, and you wil be able to understand what they're going through and be more empathetic. So these are a lot of the gifts that can come with this process. Finally, the waiting can also motivate you. It can motivate you to keep listening to your intuition, to doing the inner and outer work that aligns you with what you desire. It's like the universe's way of saying, don't just wait passively. Grow Here, stretch here. This is sacred ground. So yes, the waiting hurts or can hurt. And yes, the waiting can feel endless, but if you lean into it, the waiting becomes like a crucible. It refines you, it strengthens you, it prepares you to fully receive what's coming, and before the desire has arrived, you've already grown and expanded so much to become the version of you who can really receive it and is ready for it in a good way. So listen, if you're listening to this right now, and you're aching for something that hasn't arrived yet, and you have this desire, and you are in this waiting process as you do work to move towards it, and it can feel endless. I want you to know that I see you. I see how uncomfortable it can be, how hard, how painful. And I see you doing it anyway, that choice to keep standing for what your heart desires, to keep moving towards what you feel called to. That is a testament of who you are. That is a testament to the extraordinarily brave, resilient, determined person you are. Your willingness to stay in the discomfort, to keep walking through this portal instead of turning away. It speaks volumes about your courage and your character, and I really want to acknowledge that. I want to celebrate you for it, because, trust me, I've been there many times, and I know how hard it can feel. And here's the truth, you're probably closer than you think. It's very possible that what you desire is right around the next corner, and you just need to keep holding on. I can't promise that, but that is often the case that we think that it's going to take so long, because it feels like it's already taken so long, and then suddenly, before you know it, it's happening. It's happened. You have it. Another truth is that you are likely more capable of holding this discomfort than you realize, and that you're probably more capable of finding peace and even Joy right here, in this in between, in this time of waiting, than you give yourself credit for. So I implore you, I invite you to give it a try, see if you can find gratitude for what's here now while also being excited for what's coming. And see if you can anchor yourself in the energy of hope, even when you don't have proof that things are unfolding in the perfect way. See if you can lean into faith and trust knowing that this waiting period. It is not wasted because all of this, every moment of ache, every stretch of longing, it is in service of your highest good. You are growing, you are evolving. You are becoming in ways you can't yet see or comprehend. So trust that and keep coming back to that truth and remember you are seen, you are loved and you are not waiting alone. And if you'd like deeper support in navigating your own waiting season, I'd be so happy to connect with you. Coaching and retreats are where I get to walk beside people in this very space, and I'd be honored to walk with you too. You can connect with me at wilfully living.com, spelled Wil, fully living.com or check the show notes for links. And thank you so much for listening to this episode. It means so much to me to be able to share these things that I've gone through and helped my clients through. And I really hope some of the insights and tips are helpful to you. If you did enjoy this episode again, please consider subscribing and reviewing it. And think of a friend who might be going through this kind of waiting process, desiring something and not being there yet. And consider sending this over to them. It just might be the medicine that they're needing to keep holding on so again. Thank you and so much love to you, my beloveds. Oh my goddess, beloveds, what a joy it was to be with you today. Let's hang out again soon. Okay? And if you can think of a friend who would benefit from hearing this, we share it with them, sending so much love and light to you today and every day until next time. Peace